The moment could have been molded into a collectible porcelain figurine it was so precious. I remember my Oma singing me the same songs when I was a little girl. The words were in German, but all there was for me to understand then was that my Oma loved me. That’s all there was for Nora to understand 39 years later – that her Oma loves her.
In all likelihood Nora doesn’t understand German, or English for that matter, but you had better believe this little girl understands that she is loved!
Nora and I went for a 20 minute brisk walk in the blazing afternoon sun today. Nora was all kicked back in her shaded stroller enjoying the summer breeze that was blowing through her sweet wispy hair (and the jasmine in her mind?). I asked her, as we were making our way up a steep incline if she would mind trading places — maybe she could push Mommy around for awhile? She didn’t answer me. She’s conveniently only 2 months old in moments like this…
Once back home I was a disheveled mess. The air conditioning was nice, but a lukewarm bath seemed to be in order. Nora agreed.
And there I was. Soaking in the same big tub that I was in January 9th when I received the news,”Your baby is showing an extra 18th chromosome.” My world shattered in that instant. I could hardly breathe, nor did I really want to anymore. Today, in that same big tub was a very, very different emotion.
Again there were tears in my eyes, but these were tears of intense gratitude and all consuming bliss as I looked down at the pair of sweet bright eyes looking back at me. I gently cradled the back of her head as her little body weightlessly floated around… making tiny ripples.
God invaded my piddly existence and proved Himself to me in ways that demanded my attention. Over and over again He has turned my weakness to power, my anxiety to peace, my anger to tranquility, my frustration to patience, my fear to courage, my tears to laughter, my sorrow to joy. How can I begin to think I had anything to do with this on my own? Impossible. Praise you, Almighty Lord and Savior!
From a dog-eared page of one of my devotionals: The delight of despair comes when I delight in knowing that there is something in me which must fall prostrate before God when He reveals Himself to me, and also in knowing that if I am ever to be raised up, it must be by the hand of God. God can do nothing for me until I recognize the limits of what is humanly possible, allowing Him to do the impossible.
To all who mourn,
he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
that the LORD has planted for his own glory. (Isaiah 61:3 NLT)