He took a little child whom he placed among them. Taking the child in his arms, he said to them, “Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.” (Mark 9:36-37 NIV)

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Philippians 4:8 NIV) * I’m going to bed thinking about little baby girl squeals! 🙂

Wednesday

The day started off well until the cat had her 6th seizure that I am aware of. Still no reasons, answers or solutions in sight. Slowly and surely the anxiety took root and began to flourish. It was no longer just the cat that gave me cause for worry. I felt myself slipping, but refused to get knocked down again. Instead of letting something I had no control over seep into other areas of my life and set the tone for the rest of my day I gave it to God. I reminded God (and myself) over and over again that I trust Him. After awhile my fears and misgivings were exposed for what they really were — lies. God’s presence in my life is infallible, guaranteed and infinite.

I think back through all of the years and tears of my life, really up until very recently. I knew of, but didn’t understand the true power of the Holy Spirit. There were so many times, so many instances where I could have stopped, stared up at the sky (as I have a tendency to do) and thanked, praised, surrendered, cried, vented, asked and rested. So many times where this simple, yet efficacious practice could and would have mentally alleviated even the most trivial of complications. However, the news of, “Your baby has trisomy 18, and probably won’t survive delivery, or more than a few days at most” is enough to throw the strongest of giants to the ground. In those moments, I had no choice but to scream out loud for God. There was nothing else, no one else who could help me. After three months of ceaseless prayer, it was no longer theoretical. The reality of God in my life could not, cannot and will not be disputed. What a lesson this has been about prayer, trust and perspective. Even the things that don’t necessarily rip the rug out from under my feet, such as cat seizures, I habitually bring them to God because that’s what I’m used to doing. I can certainly say that Nora has strengthened my prayer life. She has proven its power time and time again. These aren’t just my prayers, but your prayers too.

Unless the Lord  had given me help,
I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, “My foot is slipping,”
your unfailing love, Lord , supported me. When anxiety was great within me,
your consolation brought me joy.
(Psalm 94:17-19 NIV)

Oh look! I'm a little Dew Drop!

I made stinkies in the tub again and Mommy didn't realize until the bubbles cleared away!!

Don't tell anyone though!!

Thursday

Thursdays have become my busy day. I was afforded luxury of getting out of the house to go to Bible study and even to help out in Greta’s classroom again. Nora and Nana hung out together for much of the day. (Thank you, Mom!) Bible study was incredible. It is a Beth Moore study on the book of James. The topic today was on joy and anguish. How the two can coexist (story of life since January!?) and even trade places! I love the analogy that was made between mental anguish and childbirth. The abject pain and suffering that is endured through labor with the beautiful precious baby to come. Through our anguish, of whatever it is that we’re going through – there is going to be, there WILL be something amazing as a result. The mere thought of it has tears streaming down my cheeks right now as I type this. My labor with Nora–physical and mental anguish intertwined. Her delivery–that first cry, her little eyes looking back at me, her second cry after we thought we were going to lose her–intoxicating joy. Labor and delivery, a reflection of our life on this earth and a reminder of what is to come. Can you stand it?

A thin package was delivered shortly after I got home from this particularly significant Bible study. It was a book that Melanie had made from the photos of Nora’s birth. Photos of the anguish, photos of the JOY. What a perfect reminder at a perfect moment. I can’t stop looking at it!

To help the sorrowing people of Jerusalem — I will give to them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, and the oil of gladness to replace their sorrow with joy, and clothes of praise to replace their spirit of sadness. Then they will be called flower trees of goodness planted by the Lord to show his splendor.
(Isaiah 61:3-4)

Bible study?? Oh! I thought you said BUBBLE study!

I haven’t had a chance to post in a couple of days with everything going on here. Here are a few pictures of our little swimmer this past Sunday.

Mom?

These things aren't going to fall off me again, are they?

Dat was kind of embarrassing!!

Despite her cold Nora slept wonderfully through the night (Sunday night) and even ate well during the time she woke up. I assumed she was tolerating her cold well and was surprised Monday when she was less than enthusiastic about her milkies. I gave her a couple of baffs to break up the monotony of the day and then settled her down for an afternoon nap.

Oh, I feel seepy.

Awhile after she fell asleep I became concerned about her coloring and hooked her little foot up to the pulsox machine. Her oxygen sats were reading low. Panic mode. I wasn’t sure if the congestion was preventing the flow of oxygen or if her lungs were compromised. I rerouted the oxygen flow through a tube that I placed near her open mouth in the hopes she would regain healthy sats that way. It worked for awhile until she woke up. She was angry, hungry, gassy and pissed – not a easy combo for trying to keep a tiny hose pointed at her angry little mouth. Frustrated and worried we watched as the sats dropped again. Was she just wiggling around too much, which would give false readings? Or were her sats really dropping that low? We had our doctor make “reservations” for us at Children’s and I packed our bags. I’m so thankful for awesome neighbors who rushed down to get the big kids AND fed them dinner while we tried to figure out if we were coming or going – on their anniversary, no less!! However, once we got Nora settled down and some more boogies extracted, the levels were reading steady again, and with the oxygen running back through the nasal cannula. After about 45 minutes of consistent readings we decided not to go to the hospital. My mom agreed to come over and spend the night just in case, but fortunately it never came to that.

Oh! Did I cause some troubles?

Because I’ve not always been diligent about washing my hands AFTER I’ve cared for Nora I now have her cold. I took some cold medicine last night that “may or may not cause drowsiness” hoping that I would at least be able to assist in Nora’s care last night. It rendered me completely useless and I may as well have had a fifth of Jack before I went to bed. (Sorry, sweet hubzbind) I did try to post a blog entry, but obviously that didn’t happen either. (Sorry, sweet readers)

My wonderful, awesome Mom helped get the kids off to school this morning and then did some grocery shopping for me. Later in the morning Nora had her baffies after Daddy got some Johnson & Johnson mentholyptus scented baby wash. We turned on the jets to get some extra mega bubble action. She seemed to like that! That set the tone for a nice long afternoon nap.

So here we are, holding steady and making our way over this exasperating bump in the road. We’ve been advised to keep Nora at home except for doctor visits, and to keep our visitors to a bare minimum, all of which who must have had a flu shot! We do have the RSV vaccination lined up for Nora, so hopefully that will alleviate any worry of that! The big kids have to change clothes when they come home from school and wash their hands and arms. That’s how it has to be until April. While you won’t see the Little Miss out at the grocery store, or at Bible study, I’m so glad I can still share her through the blog. And hopefully April will be here before we know it!

A drawing I found in Greta's school folder. So, so sweeeeeeet!!!!

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?
(Hebrews 12:7 NIV)

* I am not being disciplined or punished for something I did wrong. Although I most certainly deserve it, God does not work like that. It is my faith that is being disciplined and perfected through each hardship. It is being molded, shaped and polished to reflect God’s glory.

Nora is doing okay. She does have lots of boogies, but no more fevers throughout the day. A visit to the pediatrician’s office alleviated any of our concerns about her lungs, and confirmed that she does indeed have something upper respiratory. They sent us home with a nebulizer for breathing treatments. This machine definitely was louder than we expected, and I’m certain that I speak for the cats as well. I think they ran into each other, knocked a bunch of stuff over in the kitchen and then ran in place for a few seconds before darting away in big blurs of puffed fur. We couldn’t stop laughing! Poor cats! Anyway… Nora tolerated the breathing treatment well. And despite her boogies, she is in surprisingly good spirits, still squealy!!! And eating way better than I had anticipated! (smiley face) Nora still has a reason to sing, and so do I.

Since we were up most of the previous night sucking boogies, William and I were exhaustively exhausted! I took an afternoon nap and he went to bed early. It’s amazing what a little sleep can do for peace of mind. But even through the hours of sleep deprivation I will say that I felt very prayed over. It was during my melt down yesterday (Friday) my thoughts got away from me. Fear and anxiety seemed to be cemented in my chest, holding me down and choking my breath. I began worrying about all of the care and issues that MIGHT arise with a special needs child, every little cold potentially disastrous. Our new normal, which we’re still trying to adjust to seemed frightening and full of foreboding. Selfishly I wanted our old normal back and for Nora to be a part of THAT normal. My sweet husband laid there next to me and listened to me purge my heart and stroked my hair away from my teary face. In a moment of silence William reminded me that through Nora I am a beacon of strength for so many, including himself. (Yet there I was in a heap of hopelessness, weak and vulnerable – furthest thing from strength I could imagine…) Any strength, courage or wisdom that I might exhibit is not of my own. It is a direct result of my decision to let God take the reins of my life. It is HIS strength, HIS courage, HIS wisdom that has been apportioned to me. That is Christ in my life.

It is when I am weak and tired that my eyes grow weary and I lose my focus on God. Suddenly I think I’m supposed to have control over all of this, and really, how could I control ANY of this?? And so what if I’m not a part of the world’s “normal” – is anyone really?? I KNOW God has something better in mind for all of us through what we perceive as our pain and suffering. He makes beautiful things from our dust, I need to be reminded time and time again!!

Remedied with sleep and coffee I’ve regained my footing, my eyes are once again focused on God, where they should be at all times. I heard this song on the radio on our way to the pediatrician this morning:

“Maybe there are things you can’t see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending
Someday, somehow, you’ll see”

Amen to that!!!!!!!

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
(Ephesians 2:8-10 NIV)

“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.”
(Phil. 4:6-7 The Message)

Every little stray from norm sets the horror movie music screeching in my head. Nora had been eating really wonderfully the past 4 days. As of yesterday late afternoon there has been a steady decline. I fully comprehend the futility of worry, but satan is always right there with his dirty infected syringe injecting fear and worry into my mind. It simmers and festers and I find myself in a puddle of tears.

I made a quick trip to the grocery this morning for laundry detergent and gas drops (hoping gas was the source of Nora’s troubles). I was weepy on my way back home, looking all over for the 3 birds. No where. Instead of turning down our street, I got it in my head to just keep going straight. Nora had fallen asleep, this would give her the opportunity to sleep. So on I drove. I went down through another subdivision and there they were.

Nora started fussing right after I took that picture. It was almost as if I had driven down there specially to see them.

Despite Nora’s disinterest in her milkies, she was in decent spirits. She was wide awake for most of the day, from 8 am – 3 pm! We were then honored to have a visit from Melanie Pace – the amazing photographer who did the pictures of Nora’s birth! She had her cameras in tow and got some great shots of us with Nora. I can’t wait to see the pictures!! Here are some that I took today:

It was toward the end of our photo shoot that I noticed Nora was getting lots of boogies. (cue up horror music) Didn’t we just get over the last cold??? No one else in the family is exhibiting any symptoms to have known to keep their distance. We do not touch her unless we’re doused in hand sanitizer. I’m at a loss…

So here we go again. I’m sleep deprived and so susceptible to satan’s stupid tricks. Please pray for Nora to weather this cold without any complications and that I will stay focused in the present moment. Please pray for my precious hubzbind too. He’s exhausted from a hard day at work, yet goes completely above, beyond and back again for all of us.  #bestdaddyandhubzbindintheworld

Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”
(Matthew 16:23 NIV)

Nora went to another Bible study session with Mommy! She did really well up until the end. Her sweet little squeals gradually progressed into discontent so we had to go for a walk.

Hey! I have something to share!!

After Bible study I took a gamble and brought Nora to get an oil change. Everything was fine until Grumpy Baby showed up half way through it.

I hate oil changes!! This is stupid!!!

Fortunately it didn’t last too long and we were back home in no time flat!

I volunteered to help out in Greta’s classroom this afternoon, something I’ve been excited to do for some time now! My Mom was able to come over and stay with the Little Miss while I was away.

Greta was super excited to see me and greeted me with a big hug!

Oh! And I got to meet Greta’s baby guinea pig that Daddy said she could bring home.

It's the little one in the back to the left

The class came back one Monday to discover three little baby piggies that their classroom pet had secretly been gestating! Greta wrote the sweetest letter to her Daddy explaining why she should have one. He couldn’t resist! (And because we’re bored and have nothing else going on…)

Back at home Nora boarded the Fuss Train. She was very fussy all evening and hasn’t been eating so great. There seems to be 2 different scenarios with her. Either she is eating and sleeping tons, or she doesn’t eat as much and she’s awake for 6 – 7 hour stretches. (?)

At least we had a good morning!

Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise.
(James 5:13 NIV)

On our way back from the bus stop this morning, Nora and I got caught in a light rain. Nora didn’t mind one bit, and in fact she squealed all the way back down the street — loudly to the point that the neighbors heard her! “Was that Nora?” my neighbor-friend texted. Another neighbor-friend was out getting his newspaper and had to see for himself who in the world was making all this racket! I continued on back to the house laughing and pushing a stroller with precious squeals emitting from it!

The big kids were off at school and my routine with Nora began. She quickly decided once we were back inside that she’d like a baff.

I like baffs!

After naps and baffs we packed up and went to the GROCERY STORE! We were all out of milkies!!!

Ooo! Something looks delicious!

Nom nom nom nom nom

We had a girls night at the house with my cousin Amy and little Anna (why did I not get pictures!!??) while all the boys went to the Reds game. Love me some cousin time! 🙂

Pictures from William’s phone:

Gavin up on the jumbotron - what what!

The cousins left shortly before 8 and the boys were home LATE! Too bad the Reds didn’t win! Meanwhile, someone else had already gotten herself sleepy!

Nora spent the rest of the night with Daddy who let Mommy get a full night of sleep upstairs! (Thanks, Pudding.)

I will proclaim the name of the Lord.
Oh, praise the greatness of our God!
(Deuteronomy 32:3 NIV)

I wasn't happy on my way back from the bus stop this morning. I miss my brudder and sister!

I was a good girl fir Mr. & Mrs. B. while Mommy went to help Daddy at the sign shop. Mommy missed me!

I stayed at home and played with Daddy while Mommy took Greta to dance class.

Mommy and Greta went out to dinner afterward. They had Chinese food.

That sounds kind of delicious!

Not as delicious as milkies though!

I fell asleep after a mad banjo pickin' session!

Just another day in paradise! 🙂

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
(Hebrews 11:1 NIV)

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
(1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV)

Oh, how easy it is to forget that scripture when things are going good! There were the days I could barely get out of bed in the morning, absolutely dreading what the day might have in store. Prayer was simply part of opening my eyes. I couldn’t think about starting my day without prayer. It came naturally. But now that the ground is steady again I get lulled back into thinking I’ve got everything under control again. Kind of like, “Thanks for everything, God,  but I’ve got this now!” Even when I’m not in the throes of despair I need to remember to pray. I will say that through Nora this does come much easier than it used to. I have met so many people, so many families in need of prayer, especially in regard to infants and children. When I think of them, I pray for them which reminds me and even enables me to pray continually.

While there are days that I will be overwhelmed with the challenges of Nora’s care, I will smile in remembering that she’s been the perfect excuse for someone to talk to God by praying for her. God delights in hearing from all of us, especially His beloved children that never call. If maybe you feel like God doesn’t listen to your prayers so why bother? I’m here to say YES, HE DOES!!

Proof:

We had another restful day with a couple of baffs and a walk up to the bus stop to meet the big kids in the afternoon. Life is good right now. God is good always.

Gavin being a goofball in the background trying to make Matthew laugh!

I found this sweet drawing in Greta's school work that she brought home. Love the 3 birds!

Look to the Lord  and his strength;
seek his face always.
(1 Chronicles 16:11 NIV)

I'm sound asleep in the morning!

I have no idea of the silliness going on around me!

My brudder is funny!

I had so much fun at my brudder's game the night before that I decided I wanted to go again!

I met a new friend!

Maddy is extra sweet like me!

I fell asleep for a little bit.

When I woke up I had a few things to say!

I told my brudder to make a hit for me!

And he DID!!!

I’m such a good girl and I’m really sweet too!

They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”
(Jeremiah 17:8 NIV)