Nora is doing okay. She does have lots of boogies, but no more fevers throughout the day. A visit to the pediatrician’s office alleviated any of our concerns about her lungs, and confirmed that she does indeed have something upper respiratory. They sent us home with a nebulizer for breathing treatments. This machine definitely was louder than we expected, and I’m certain that I speak for the cats as well. I think they ran into each other, knocked a bunch of stuff over in the kitchen and then ran in place for a few seconds before darting away in big blurs of puffed fur. We couldn’t stop laughing! Poor cats! Anyway… Nora tolerated the breathing treatment well. And despite her boogies, she is in surprisingly good spirits, still squealy!!! And eating way better than I had anticipated! (smiley face) Nora still has a reason to sing, and so do I.

Since we were up most of the previous night sucking boogies, William and I were exhaustively exhausted! I took an afternoon nap and he went to bed early. It’s amazing what a little sleep can do for peace of mind. But even through the hours of sleep deprivation I will say that I felt very prayed over. It was during my melt down yesterday (Friday) my thoughts got away from me. Fear and anxiety seemed to be cemented in my chest, holding me down and choking my breath. I began worrying about all of the care and issues that MIGHT arise with a special needs child, every little cold potentially disastrous. Our new normal, which we’re still trying to adjust to seemed frightening and full of foreboding. Selfishly I wanted our old normal back and for Nora to be a part of THAT normal. My sweet husband laid there next to me and listened to me purge my heart and stroked my hair away from my teary face. In a moment of silence William reminded me that through Nora I am a beacon of strength for so many, including himself. (Yet there I was in a heap of hopelessness, weak and vulnerable – furthest thing from strength I could imagine…) Any strength, courage or wisdom that I might exhibit is not of my own. It is a direct result of my decision to let God take the reins of my life. It is HIS strength, HIS courage, HIS wisdom that has been apportioned to me. That is Christ in my life.

It is when I am weak and tired that my eyes grow weary and I lose my focus on God. Suddenly I think I’m supposed to have control over all of this, and really, how could I control ANY of this?? And so what if I’m not a part of the world’s “normal” – is anyone really?? I KNOW God has something better in mind for all of us through what we perceive as our pain and suffering. He makes beautiful things from our dust, I need to be reminded time and time again!!

Remedied with sleep and coffee I’ve regained my footing, my eyes are once again focused on God, where they should be at all times. I heard this song on the radio on our way to the pediatrician this morning:

“Maybe there are things you can’t see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending
Someday, somehow, you’ll see”

Amen to that!!!!!!!

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
(Ephesians 2:8-10 NIV)

“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.”
(Phil. 4:6-7 The Message)