A Reason to Sing (Squeal)

Nora is doing okay. She does have lots of boogies, but no more fevers throughout the day. A visit to the pediatrician’s office alleviated any of our concerns about her lungs, and confirmed that she does indeed have something upper respiratory. They sent us home with a nebulizer for breathing treatments. This machine definitely was louder than we expected, and I’m certain that I speak for the cats as well. I think they ran into each other, knocked a bunch of stuff over in the kitchen and then ran in place for a few seconds before darting away in big blurs of puffed fur. We couldn’t stop laughing! Poor cats! Anyway… Nora tolerated the breathing treatment well. And despite her boogies, she is in surprisingly good spirits, still squealy!!! And eating way better than I had anticipated! (smiley face) Nora still has a reason to sing, and so do I.

Since we were up most of the previous night sucking boogies, William and I were exhaustively exhausted! I took an afternoon nap and he went to bed early. It’s amazing what a little sleep can do for peace of mind. But even through the hours of sleep deprivation I will say that I felt very prayed over. It was during my melt down yesterday (Friday) my thoughts got away from me. Fear and anxiety seemed to be cemented in my chest, holding me down and choking my breath. I began worrying about all of the care and issues that MIGHT arise with a special needs child, every little cold potentially disastrous. Our new normal, which we’re still trying to adjust to seemed frightening and full of foreboding. Selfishly I wanted our old normal back and for Nora to be a part of THAT normal. My sweet husband laid there next to me and listened to me purge my heart and stroked my hair away from my teary face. In a moment of silence William reminded me that through Nora I am a beacon of strength for so many, including himself. (Yet there I was in a heap of hopelessness, weak and vulnerable – furthest thing from strength I could imagine…) Any strength, courage or wisdom that I might exhibit is not of my own. It is a direct result of my decision to let God take the reins of my life. It is HIS strength, HIS courage, HIS wisdom that has been apportioned to me. That is Christ in my life.

It is when I am weak and tired that my eyes grow weary and I lose my focus on God. Suddenly I think I’m supposed to have control over all of this, and really, how could I control ANY of this?? And so what if I’m not a part of the world’s “normal” – is anyone really?? I KNOW God has something better in mind for all of us through what we perceive as our pain and suffering. He makes beautiful things from our dust, I need to be reminded time and time again!!

Remedied with sleep and coffee I’ve regained my footing, my eyes are once again focused on God, where they should be at all times. I heard this song on the radio on our way to the pediatrician this morning:

“Maybe there are things you can’t see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending
Someday, somehow, you’ll see”

Amen to that!!!!!!!

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faithโ€”and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of Godโ€” not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
(Ephesians 2:8-10 NIV)

“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.”
(Phil. 4:6-7 The Message)

7 thoughts on “A Reason to Sing (Squeal)

  1. Glad she is doing well even with a cold. And you are just human…we all worry even though we KNOW God is in control ๐Ÿ™‚ I wonder since you said none of ya’ll had a cold and you hand sanitize if maybe the kids should change clothes when they come home from school. A lady at my daughter’s preschool had a premature baby and she said that when they brought the baby home finally that one of the nurses told her that before she let her siblings hold her that they needed to change clothes. That the older kids were probably immune to a lot of colds and stuff but the baby isn’t and that if someone sneezes or something and that germ gets on the clothes…Just a thought. I know you can’t keep her from all sickness but since cold season is just starting and this is her 3rd, this may help ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Tonight “The Beil Family” was sitting having devotions and then I asked the kids if they had any prayer requests and Annika said we need to pray for the Yusko Family. Nora and The Yusko Family were in our prayers tonight. God is a blessing! Love you guys.

  3. So happy to hear that Nora is still squealing!
    And I believe its quite normal for mommies to have meltdowns. The good thing is you always come out of them with renewed hope and strength.
    ๐Ÿ™‚
    I was in a craft store today and I picked up some fall decorations. When I got home and was taking the things out of the bags I noticed the three pumpkins decoration I bought had a bird perched on each pumpkin. I said o wow, Noras three birds!! And of course I said a prayer for her right then and there. Love that sweet baby!
    Missed the pictures today, but I totally understand how busy you are!! Lol, I’m REALLY not complaining.

  4. I AM SO HAPPY THAT NORA IS FEELING BETTER AND THAT SHE IS EATING LIKE HERSELF AGAIN. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO WORRY AND BE CONCERNED, YOU ARE HER LOVING MOMMY. THAT SONG WAS BEAUTIFUL, AND SO TRUE. IT SEEMED LIKE GOD KNEW THE SONG YOU NEEDED TO HEAR. LOVED HEARING ABOUT BONNIE BUYING FALL DECORATIONS, AND THE THREE PUMPKINS AND THREE BIRDS. SOMETIMES I LOOK OUT MY KITCHEN WINDOW, AND SEE THREE BIRDS EITHER ON THE FENCE OR ON THE CABLE LINE, AND WHEN I DO I TOO IMMEDIATELY THINK OF NORA AND HER WONDERFUL FAMILY. WHAT IS REALLY COOL ABOUT THAT, I TOO SAY A PRAY RIGHT THERE AND THEN ALSO. YOUR FAMILY IS IN SO MANY OF OUR PRAYERS. THAT IS GOOD, BECAUSE GOD NEVER GETS TIRED OF HEARING FROM ANY OF US. PRAISE GOD FOR HIS GOODNESS. I LOVE ALL OF YOUR FAMILY. HOPE TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY (SUNDAY) FOR NORA AND HER FAMILY. GOOD NIGHT AND GOD BLESS.

  5. You are truly an inspiration to me. I live far away in South Africa. But almost every day, I look at your blog. Your life is tough at the moment but yet your faith stays strong. Moment of doubt and fear are normal and do not anyway mean that you are somehow failling.

  6. “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” [2 Corinthians 12:10] It’s okay to have moments of weakness. ๐Ÿ™‚ Now you are strong.

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