It’s been a very surreal week–life unexpectedly interrupted by my uncle’s passing compounded with 2 nights at the hospital with Nornor. A week I won’t soon forget, yet wish I could somehow erase and rewrite. The piercing sorrow and the oppressive anxiety aspire to take center stage with reprehensible audacity. When I avert my gaze to God instead, I am able to see past all that is “wrong” in my human perspective. I begin to notice the graceful glow of beauty and hope.
One of Nora’s nurses wrote a piece about this as it pertains to Nora. She graciously shared it with me and has allowed me to share it here. She wrote this days before the loss of my uncle and Nora’s elevated heart rate / stay in the hospital, but how appropriate now more than ever:
Today’s devotion is taught by Nora Yusko. What an amazing teacher. Last night I had the privilege of spending time with her. She amazed me so. She is so fascinated about everything. She looks at her hands and fingers in awe. She looks at the colors in books and coos with the most innocent sounds of joy. She looks into my face as if to say, “Isn’t this so so wonderful?”
I began to realize how to pray. Lord, please make me more like Nora. She has things in her life, major things, that could have gone better but she does not look at those things. She looks for something, anything around her to enjoy. When you observe her it’s obvious praise and thanksgiving for something. We all have bad things that happened to us….but why do we make that our focus?
It’s what you look at that matters or you would not be looking at it. We have a choice. God said “fix your eyes on these things……..”
I felt Nora would have laughed at my thoughts with a squeal of advice,”silly Tracy, don’t you know the things that you can’t change should not make you miss what you have right now? Look at my hand! Isn’t it amazing?? Praise God……wow… He made this!!”
Lord, I pray that I would look at my grandchildren the way she looks at her hand. That every husband would look at his wife and every wife her husband in the same amazement. That as we read God’s Word we would stop and say, “Wow, He’s amazing!” meditating and staring into the reality of it all.
While I was still meditating about this in my bed this morning I saw Nora in a vision and she had a crown… a jeweled crown in her hand that sparked. Is that where her sparkle comes from? Does she see this now or will she see it one day? Is this why she is so resplendent? I could see her a little bigger, but all Nora as she is in her nature…. throwing that crown and then squealing with a chuckle as it flies into the air. I never saw that scripture in such a content. I always thought we would be so shocked at God’s goodness, not like what I was seeing. She is not shocked or fearful, she is amazed and wants to be herself, as she is right here, right now, this moment just God’s little girl.
Thank you for that, Tracy!
Although tempting, we must not make our focus on all that is wrong. There is so much beauty just waiting to bring joy!
Today I find joy in the FACT that my Uncle has been gloriously received into the Kingdom of God. He left this earth doing what he loved, riding his bike on a beautiful spring afternoon. He will never know another moment of pain, or even the discomforts and restrictions of growing old. I find joy in imagining the blessed reunions that took place once he entered Eternity, and those blessed reunions that will take place for each of us when it is someday our turn. Can you imagine!!??
Today I find joy in Nora’s greatly improved heart rate. It is steadily getting lower and lower. Last check it was in the 140s with O2 sats on the very high 90s. I find joy in her sweet smile and her precious squeals, her huge, mighty purpose.
I give such thanks for each and every instance of joy especially during these trying times.
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.