In His Grip

It was early summer of 2003. I was pregnant with Gavin as I walked into Drug Emporium for miscellaneous odds and ends. As I walked in I noticed a bird flying around inside of the store. An employee saw me watching the bird and commented that they’d been trying to get it out all morning and afternoon. With bold confidence I informed her that I’d get it out for them and then started off in the direction of the bird. I have a very soft spot in my heart for birds and will go to great lengths to help them. The young girl looked at me like I was crazy and continued on her way probably thinking, “Whatevs, lady…” The bird landed on top of a glass cigarette case that was about 7 feet high. Not like I could just reach up and grab a wild bird even if I could reach up that high.

“GOD, PLEASE HELP ME GET THIS BIRD!!” I quietly whispered.

I was SURE that I was going to get this bird without any doubt in my mind. I just had no idea how to go about it. I’m not in the habit of carrying around pole nets in my purse. As I got closer to the glass case I raised my arms up at the bird. I must have scared it because it fluttered back and was now stuck between the wall and the case. As if I knew exactly what I was doing, I reached back and was able to grab just the edge of the young starling’s wing. The frightened bird struggled and resisted against me, but I refused to let go. Ever so gently I pulled the bird out from his predicament by his wing careful not to bend it in a direction it wasn’t meant to go. In less than a couple of minutes I had the starling in my hands, his head peeking out of my firm grasp with juvenile fuzz still on the top of his head. Largely pregnant, I walked past the checkout registers with a fuzzy headed bird in my hand. Several employees and customers stared at me dumbfounded wondering how in the heck I managed to do in literally a couple of minutes what they’d been trying to do all day!

Once back outside I released the bird from my grip and it instantly took flight. It landed on a nearby wall and looked back at me as if to say thank you before taking off into the horizon.

Initially I recalled this event from the perspective of approaching matters with bold and confident faith,

“GOD, PLEASE HEAL THIS BABY GIRL!!”

Am I SURE that God is going to heal Nora without any doubt in my mind? “Is my faith that strong?” I ask myself. There are days when it seems impossible, “HOW are you going to do this?” Hopelessly, I try to find the logic and potential resources just as I did with the starling. Often those don’t exist. But that can not and will not stop God! He faithfully provides just the right circumstances, and puts just the right people in our lives with pinpoint precision.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
(Hebrews 11:1)

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
(Mark 11:24)

As I recalled this story of the starling I began to see things with a “bird’s eye view”, so to speak. When we first started going to Children’s Hospital, I compared it to feeling like a trapped bird. I think it also holds true in initially finding yourself as the parent of a special needs child. I found myself empathizing with the fear that bird must have been faced with. One “wrong turn”, whether he chose it or not, and suddenly the bird found himself in an environment that was completely foreign to him. The endless sky was suddenly restricting. Flying frantically back and forth, there appeared to be no way out, no solution in sight. He trusted nothing and no one until suddenly he was physically pinned between a wall and a cabinet, his worst fears come true. How exactly like that bird I have felt!! Emotionally crushed. Hopeless and terrified. I sometimes don’t understand the love and wisdom in God’s mighty hand squeezing through the crack to extricate me. Out of fear I try to wriggle from his grasp, wanting to rely on my own solutions for solving these problems. But the more I relax and stop fighting the easier it is. God doesn’t have to pull so hard on my wings. I might spend the rest of my life behind this “cabinet”, but I have the faith and the hope that one day I will finally get out. As long as I am in His grip, I am safe. There will come that day for all of us, whether we were trapped behind a cabinet or not, that we are brought back outside into our natural environment where we were meant to be all along. Those hands will open introducing us to the glories of heaven as we take flight, cool wind in our face, free at last!

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
(Proverbs 3:5)

The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
(2 Timothy 4:18)

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Nora’s heart rate has been registering between mid-130s to 160s and her breathing is much more relaxed!! (As is mine!!) This has been such a relief, such a HUGE answer to prayers!! I can’t thank you enough!!

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”
(Matthew 7:7-8)

Here is Nora trying out some new toys from Redwood! She was very interested in this mirror. When you touch the little chains that dangle across the mirror the frame lights up, it vibrates and plays music!
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19 thoughts on “In His Grip

  1. I needed to read this today. I’ve been following Nora’s journey since her birth, and I’m so excited to see her beautiful face every day. Our son, Jack, is eight now. Born three months early, he has gone through so much to become the boy he is today. I still feel so scared of the future, knowing that his road will never be easy. Every time I start to panic and project years in the future, wondering about future surgeries and long-term care, I have to breathe and give it to God. After all, this is the boy who wasn’t supposed to live, according to many of his doctors. God is certainly watching over Jack; I just needed a reminder that he is also watching over me. Thank you.

  2. Alecia….you continue to amaze me with your strength and faith. God certainly knew what he was doing when he blessed you with Nora and visa versa. To this day, I can’t wait to see your blog every morning. Even in your darkest hour, you somehow know how to lift us up and show us how good God truly is. Thank you for that.

  3. Having followed your blog for many months now, I still marvel when “threads” of your story are revealed and their place in the beautiful tapestry of your life are made clear. Nora is your muse, and SO MUCH MORE, but it is you, and your history and YOUR telling of it that keeps me reading. Clearly, none of this is by chance. Your humble, God infused perspective is relatable and inspiring to me, over and over again.

  4. Beautiful post!! LOVE that song; it truly ministered to me. Around eight years ago or so now, we had toxic mold poisoning in our home when we lived in WA. It was a brand new home, and at the time, I was a clean freak. I had three kiddos three and under. I researched everything to make sure they were as healthy as could be. I researched vaccinations, organic foods, etc., etc. I made sure we had all the child safety equipment. I was very concerned about their health and safety as most young mothers are. And in the split of a second we discovered why we were having crazy health issues that could not be explained. Toxic mold, and the kind that was neurological. We had to leave our home and ALL of our belongings (everything we owned) and abandon it all. But what we could not get rid of were the poisons ravished in our cells. I felt like I was in a nightmare as I faced the fact that my three babies and my husband and I were filled with toxins. When you leave a toxic environment your body goes through this detox effect. And that hit me hard. I was the most affected since I had just had a baby. I will not go into all of the details of all of the threatening symptoms I faced, but it was devastating. I remember days just falling on the ground on my knees before our Lord in desperation and clinging onto His Word with all of my heart. I would go from doctor to doctor to try to get help; surely they had something that could heal me. But many times on my way to a new doctor, the Lord would give me Psalm 118 telling me that I could not trust in man, but in the Lord my God. Finally I realized that God truly is the Great Physician and in this illness there was no remedy from man. God used this to bring me to a place of complete dependence upon Him. I relied on His Word for every breath I took to carry me and help me trust in Him for the health of my children as well. They got better fast, but I still did not know what all those poisons were doing to their precious bodies. I battled health issues continually. We ended up moving to CA due to my husband’s job and the Lord led me to this ministry in GA where I got some amazing healing from Him. We moved to another area in CA and I continued to trust God for my health as I still battled some symptoms. I did not know if I could ever have another baby, and to our surprise, He blessed us with another baby. It was a miracle. I also lost a baby in my womb. But he has also given me three more. Even a son with an extra special chromosome. He has had challenges with being more compromised. He had a heart issue. But once again, it has been dependence on our God for everything. Everyday has been a dependence on Him knowing that truly He is in total control. And I already told you about what happened in 2011 with the sickness we all faced together with the whooping cough, etc. That summer was like no other. But the Lord carried us, ministered to us in our darkest days, and He healed and delivered us. After having James, I am struggling with some health issues again, but praying and depending upon Him. God is our Rock and fortress. I am so thankful for your blog because as I told you before it is like a morning devotion for me. Plus I just cannot get enough of Nora Rose. I am sure she is covered in kisses daily. And you always bring everything back to our Lord in His Word. We can declare His truths and stand on them. Thank you for sharing your heart. Of course I am praying and praying for sweet Nora. She lights me up. 🙂 Praising God with you that her heart rate is lower!!! I just love this story about the bird. My kiddos tried to rescue a baby bird the other day. He died, and we were so sad!

  5. Oh, thank you for this! God speaks through you, my precious sister in Christ. Very clearly. You are His voice; thank you for your faithfulness on this blog, sharing your story with Nora Rose and your family and your faith. What a blessing you are!

    Yesterday, the enemy attempted to rob me of my Joy in the Lord and the peace that I have as we enjoy my fourth pregnancy. We are getting late in the pregnancy, and I am a middle-aged mother. My husband and I do our best to walk by faith and to believe God for everything – and to release our lives to Him, for He is the One in charge. Therefore, we believe He is the One in charge of the life that He has knit together in my womb: a life now thirty-four weeks old.

    In any event, our faith was tested yesterday. Do we believe God, or do we act in fear because I am a middle-aged mother? Do we act according to the standard of the world, society, and the often-secular medical community? Or, do we blindly (in our natural eyes) trust God with the life of this precious child, without needless interventions prior to birth?

    I must say, I thought of you often yesterday while sitting in the office of our Midwife, listening to him frighten me (unintentionally, of course) with “statistics” and words like “high-risk” and “need to be prepared”. Prepared for what? The worst? That’s not faith – that’s fear. Good thing the bible says that fear cannot reside where Love lives.

    Love lives here. (And in you, dear sister.) Many blessings to you all!

  6. The example of the little bird is perfect. I think God usually performs miracles with the help of other people, although He could do it all by Himself. Nornor is like the little bird ( she also has fuzzy hair, hehe) in the loving hands of her family and doctors. Muuuaahh

  7. Hello Mama of 3 Little Birds! Hi Nora! What a sweet, sweet story, Alicia. Oh, how you inspire me! How you create in me, an urge to draw nearer to our God. Do you ever think about the Gift He gave you in Nora Rose? Silly question! Of course you know she’s a Gift. You are Ministering to so many hearts through telling all of your stories. I believe that many will come to know and accept Jesus as their Savior, due to the words you pour out on your blog. Kiss the Kids for me. Love You ~ Jo

  8. “Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally—not a bad idea since he’s the God who raises the dead! And he did it, rescued us from certain doom. And he’ll do it again, rescuing us as many times as we need rescuing. You and your prayers are part of the rescue operation—I don’t want you in the dark about that either. I can see your faces even now, lifted in praise for God’s deliverance of us, a rescue in which your prayers played such a crucial part.” 2 Corinthians 1:9-11 (the Message)
    Praying with you with hopeful anticipation! And thanking Him for what He has done, what He is doing, and what He will do!

  9. God is definitely working thru you! You are an amazing mother with an extraordinary baby girl! I too love reading your blog and look forward to it everyday.
    I loved the story about the little starling. I am a bird fan myself. They are really awesome little creatures.
    Thank you for your faith! You do so much for me!

  10. What a wonderful day! First Nora’s heart beat is down which is the best news ever. And then to see her sitting in her chair as she anticipates whether to reach for the mirror, too much joy.

  11. I LOVE THE STORY ABOUT THE BABY STARLING, EVEN THAT LITTLE BIRD FELT HE WAS SAFE IN YOUR HANDS. AMAZING STORY, WITH AN AMAZING ENDING. I LOVE THE PICTURE OF NORA (1ST ONE) AND THAT BIG SMILE OF HER’S. SHE REALLY LIKED THE MIRROR. SO HAPPY SHE IS DOING SO MUCH BETTER. GOD IS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE YOU ALL.

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