It was a great morning! The big kids were up in time, no fighting or teasing, and Nora slept while I fixed their breakfasts and packed their lunches. I don’t mean to brag, but I even had the dishwasher running, kitchen all cleaned up, bed made and a load of laundry in the washer before they even walked out the door!! That happens NEVER!!
However, Nora didn’t have the greatest of days today. She had some terribly uncomfortable belly pains that did not seem to want to go away. Nothing at all seemed to console her. The incessant crying turned her poor little nose into a snot-faucet and she was continuing to swallow more and more air. She hasn’t pooped in 4 days now and we were worried that there might be some sort of obstruction. To allay our fears, we set up an appointment with the pediatrician. Nora screamed at the top of her little lungs the whole way there. I clenched my teeth in anger, “How much longer, God??? Do you even hear us?? What are you doing besides making us all, mainly Nora miserable?! Why???!!! What is the point of all of this??” No booming answer, no sudden end to the crying, no grand enlightening. Nothing. Just tears, snot and screaming. Like a child I pouted that I wasn’t getting my way, “I guess we’ll just figure it out ourselves then.” We finally arrived at the pediatrician’s office with mild trepidation and frazzled nerves. It wasn’t until we had Nora out of her car seat and undressed that she suddenly decided things weren’t so bad anymore. By the time the doctor walked in a few minutes later, it was as if we were simply a couple of overreacting parents. For there on the examining table laid a squealy, kicky little baby girl with maybe a few boogies is all. No fever; clean, clear lungs; no bowel obstructions–her belly was nice and soft. Yes, she has a cold, but it is just a cold. Let’s see how it runs its course over the next few days, keep an eye on her temperature and her lungs, but nothing outwardly alarming. It is next to impossible to see into her tiny ear canals. An ear infection hasn’t been ruled out, but there are no obvious indications of one either (pain when swallowing or to the touch, fever).
So back home we went. I sat quietly in the back seat next to Nora feeling like a bit of a jerk. Nora is okay. God most certainly absolutely hears me. God isn’t prone to raising a bunch of spoiled brats. Get rid of my grandiose sense of entitlement already! He is a discerning, judicious Father who is cultivating me into a spiritually mature individual should I so choose to live under His “roof”. My free will allows me to leave at any time! To “figure it out myself” as I so eloquently phrased it earlier. That’s not what I want. I’d be no different than a featherless hatchling lying helplessly beneath my nest. I need God! Oh how I need Him!! I told Him that and apologized for my callowness. Any coincidence that “I’ll Take You Back” was playing on the radio? Like a loving Father He smiled back at me with a sunset, stroked my hair back behind my ear with trios of birds, and embraced me with a song. “Don’t forget that I love you. Don’t for a second forget what you are worth,” He whispered.
You know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.