We met with hospice this morning. It turned out not to be as daunting as it sounds. I did hate walking through those doors with the word HOSPICE emblazoned thereon. “WHAT IN THE HELL ARE WE DOING HERE???????” I internally screamed behind my expressionless facade, “WE’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!!!” We should be picking out nursery decor, and getting all the cute little girl clothes out of storage. This? This. This just wasn’t fair. But in we went anyway. The women we met with were wonderful and made it clear that it was Nora’s LIFE that they were focusing on, not her death. Their purpose is to make life a little easier on us for the time, for which we are so hopeful, that we DO get to spend with Nora. It was by no means a meeting with the Grim Reaper! We, of course, want to focus on the positive and on what we’d like to see happen in “best case scenario” – but we’ve known all along that our plan isn’t always God’s plan. It would be nice not to have to use our plans for “worst case scenario” at all – but if we need them, they’re there. With some assistance from these beautiful people we’ll figure out exactly what those plans are, and put them up on a shelf for that rainy day, if and when it comes.
My sister, Sarah made this for me!
Today, I’m thankful for the gift of time. I think that if one day in the past I’d been given a glimpse of myself walking into a hospice facility, my hands cradled around my big belly, I would have been crushed with anguish from that day onward. God only gives us a day at a time, the future is none of our business until it becomes the present. It’s comforting to know that even back in those tranquil, sunny days — God was already here ready to meet us, his arms outstretched offering to take this heavy load from us.