Day 13 – A Heavenly Adoption

I’ve been thinking lots about the indeterminate loss of this baby versus the sacrifice that was made in parting with my first born.  There is definitely a congruity that can be drawn between the two scenarios.

As in making an adoption plan, I have prepared myself for our possible worst case scenario of going home without a baby.  I guess the big difference is that I don’t feel like I really have a choice this time.  In an adoption, I at least knew in the back of my mind that I could reverse my decision at any time before I signed the papers.  Not that I WOULD HAVE, but that just seemed to give me a sense of control over everything.

The beautiful similarity is this:  If I were considering adoption right now, and I were going through the piles of adoptive family profiles that are typically given to a prospective birth mother, and I came across God’s profile, how could I possibly pass it by?  Maybe it would say something like this:

Dear Birthmother,

I’m so sorry for the burden that has been placed on your heart right now.  I know that pain intimately and you are not alone in it.  I would love to take the pain away from you right now, but I promise you there are beautiful things to come as a result of this pain you are enduring. I will walk with you through it and I will hold you up when you can’t walk on your own.  

For reasons unknown to you right now, this tiny baby is not able to be a part of your family as you know it and as you had expected.  I know that wounds you deeply, but I also know that you want the absolute best for your little one.  You can rest easy in knowing that I can provide that in more ways than you could ever possibly fathom.

Life for you on earth, as you know by now, will be speckled and marred with hardships, even though that was not my original intent for you.  The same would hold true for your precious baby if he or she were to come live on this earth with you.  What would you say if I could guarantee you that your child would never ever have to face any of these hardships and trials of life?  He or she will be destined to paradise, forever in the arms of his or her heavenly Daddy and surrounded by hosts of angels.  There are no tears, pain or suffering here.  Not even a little bit.

I’d love to say you could come and visit when ever you like, but you will someday see that what seems like “forever” to you now is just a blink of an eye compared to eternity.  Before you even realized what happened, you will be reunited with your sweet precious little one.  I think you already know what that is like, as I gave you a glimpse of that here on earth with your first born.  Imagine having another one of those reunions, but this time it will be in my Heavenly Kingdom!

Please don’t worry about what the future holds for you or for your baby.  I promise you it is going to be beautiful in the end.  Just as you carry this baby, I will carry you.

Love,

God

There is no question.  Perhaps this baby is THAT special, that no, William and I are not fit to be his or her parents.  Only God can fulfill that duty.  While there are times that I feel uncomfortable with the lack of control I have here, I am learning more and more every day to release all that I want and think I need to control, and surrender it to God.  He knows what is best for us better than we do.  Can I just trust Him?  Yes.

10 thoughts on “Day 13 – A Heavenly Adoption

  1. Trust is a hard thing to do. We as humans think we at times know what’s best for us better than God. Its so inspiring to see you being able to trust Him so completely in such an emotional time.

  2. Beautiful. That’s exactly what God would say. You’ve made a very brave and wonderful choice to carry this gift inside you. You will never regret this decision. Lifting you up in prayer…

  3. Wow. Well that was a download straight from God Himself. He is truly so very close to the broken hearted. He is working through you and this precious baby to do great things for the Kingdom. As a divorced/single mom, and I know this doesn’t even compare to what you are going through….but when my heart is torn to pieces for all the times my son is away from me and all the time I miss out on with him, I focus on 1) he is here and he is healthy 2) i know i will get to spend eternity with him and that it’s not too far away and eternity is a long time and 3) somehow God is working it all together for good – even all of the really yucky excruciating parts, even when we can’t possibly understand. Praying for you.

  4. I was sitting in church about 6 months ago and this Mother was giving a testimony about her 2 year old little girl that had all kinds of heart problems. The toddler was in open heart surgery for the third time in her life. The Mother said that she clearly heard God’s voice say “I am going to take your baby and bring her home to Me”. She knew that the odds of the little girl making it was not good. She started to cry and asked our preacher “How am I supposed to take that news?” Our preacher looked at her and said “If God came to you and said that He had the most special baby in all of the world and He wanted you to take care of it for Him, but you could only keep it for 2 years and then you would have to give it back, what would your answer be?”

    God is with you and your precious family right now. He loves you more than He ever has

  5. I am in tears and I don’t even know you. The strength God has given you to endure this huge burden is truly amazing. My prayers are with you!

  6. Pingback: Fearfully and wonderfully made « Let's Go Fly a Kite

  7. I’ve gone through two early miscarriages in less than a year. This letter you wrote is the most amazing thing i’ve ever read! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! This just put my heart at ease! My thoughts and prayers are with your family!

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