Everything was all fun and nice this morning.
Then it was time for Nora’s appointment with the pediatrician… With SHOTS. The appointment went very well up until the last part when the needles showed up. Nora was just going about life as usual when suddenly she got jabbed in the legs with two very painful needles. They all but took her breath away. I scooped her up immediately afterward, swaddled her and held her tight as the tears streamed down both of our faces. I HATE seeing her in any pain. Of course I would spare her from it, but these shots are for her benefit. They will protect her from getting sick. I kissed her cheeks and stroked her little head over and over again, wishing I could somehow explain this pain to her. She doesn’t understand, as no baby possibly could. Even as she gets older it will still be hard for her to comprehend. How could I, as her Mommy just STAND THERE and let her get hurt like that, she might wonder!
The rest of the day has been rough. Nora wasn’t even in the mood for a warm bathies. I spent a good part of the afternoon holding her tightly in my arms and whispering sweet things in her ears.
In an eerily similar way, I’ve responded to pain and suffering in my life much like Nora to her shots.
“How could God allow this to happen,” I’ve been known to scream out from time to time, “How could He just ‘stand there’ and let (fill in the blank) happen? Doesn’t He care? What did I do to deserve this?”
I demand answers to these questions in my immature fits of rage and sadness. God certainly sympathizes, but doesn’t expect me to get it. There is no way I could possibly grasp an understanding of God’s plan, the Big Picture. Perhaps there was plenty I’ve done to deserve the pain and suffering, but God doesn’t work like that. He is a caring and compassionate God that already suffered and died FOR US. In my most recent moment of despair back in January, God picked me up off of the floor after my excruciating “shot”. He swaddled me in His arms, held me tightly and whispered sweet things in my ears, “I’m so sorry you have to feel this, my sweet child. I know it hurts you terribly. I would do anything to protect you from this, but this pain is for your benefit. It is protecting you from the distractions of this world. I want you to rely on me for comfort. I want you to trust me that something beautiful is in store for you. This pain won’t last forever. Someday you’ll be free of any pain or suffering altogether. You will finally understand why. But in the mean time I’ve given you the gift of time to help you heal and to ease your suffering. Don’t give up on Me!”
Like Nora, I give a little contented sigh of relief. I am comforted and loved as my head rests upon His shoulder. I trust You, Lord God!
The Lord is good,
a refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those who trust in him.
(Nahum 1:7 NIV)
As a mother comforts her child,
so will I comfort you.
(Isaiah 66:13 NIV)