By next Thursday we will have an answer as to whether or not Nora is eligible for heart surgery. There is a new issue with her heart that needs to remain stable and not worsen for our cardiologist to give the official green light. Another echo is scheduled for Thursday of next week.
While Nora was contentedly sipping on some milkies during her echo this morning I was frantically searching the room for some sort of God hug. No brightly colored 3 birds border in this room… But wait… Could it be??? My heart fluttered like I’d just received a note from a childhood friend, “HE LIKES YOU!!”
There on the wall, partially hidden by machines were my 3 birds. It was a series of 3 paintings by Mackenzie Thorpe in a single frame. Three chickens, but 3 birds no less!! I swallowed hard at the lump in my throat, trying to retain the tears welling up in my eyes. There is God again, who cares SOOO much about me. I surmise that God could just leave it up to us to be the ones to choose to believe in Him — or not. But that He would continue to send me these little hints of His great love for me is so, so incredible. How could I ever possibly doubt His presence?? Could it be that He’s been sending me love notes my whole life, but I was just too busy and wrapped up in my own little world to notice?
I’m so so relieved that today is OVER. I am actually in bed, I’m still breathing, and I fully trust in God’s plan here. I usually go to bed in a much better state of mind than when I wake up. In the mornings as soon as I open my eyes everything comes crashing at me like a bursted dam. My thoughts are reeling and I want to pull the covers up over my head. The whole day stands there in all of its formidableness, barely begun and I am already wishing it away. It takes the whole day to get my thoughts, my outlook, and perspective back into sync with God’s.
I saw a great quote today that said, “When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer!”
I can’t see an end to this tunnel we’re in right now, but I’ll be right here in my seat waiting for that glimmer of sunlight — ticket in hand, trusting my engineer.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord , “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
(Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)