I’ve regained my balance and found my footing again. Yes, we still have a couple days of testing in front of us. Thursday is THE DAY that we will get the answer on whether or not Nora is a candidate for heart surgery. I no longer allow myself to imagine how I’ll react to either scenario – when I do, I can barely breathe, my own heart starts pounding as if though it’s about to take off into orbit. Any joy in the present moment is officially stolen. I will deal with what ever answer we get WHEN we get it — not now. Staying focused on God is not always easy amidst such circumstances, especially for someone who is easily distracted such as myself. If I’m not careful, I can be whisked away in a turmoil of negative thinking. I can end up feeling so shamefully sorry for myself, somehow believing that I am the first and only person to ever go through such a trying time, and why would God do this to me, blah, blah, blah. I’d been so spoiled for much of my life, blessed with awesome parents, the entire family gets along and truly enjoys each other’s company, good health, incredible hubzbind, precious children, surrounded by a multitude of fabulous friends, etc., etc., etc! For awhile I even had a little sparrow fluttering around with me from room to room as if though I were some kind of Disney princess! Looking back, I may as well have lived in a doll house. One thing that has been made abundantly clear through Nora is that I STILL HAVE all of these blessings. The trisomy 18 diagnosis has not overshadowed or obliterated any of the beauty in my life. If anything, it has amplified it. The amount of prayers going up for us and the acts of kindness mentioned in yesterday’s post are the sweetest icing on my already delicious cake. How could I have ever tasted such sweetness, but not for Nora? I might have just had cake for the rest of my life, which would have been fine! But how much better it tastes with the icing.
(I apologize for not linking the blog updates to Facebook over the past couple of days. Our internet has been down for the past day and a half. While I can update the blog relatively easy from my phone – it’s difficult to put a link on the Praying for Nora page for some reason. I try to get an update in at the end of each day – even if it’s just a couple of pictures. If you don’t see a link on FB – know that you can always go directly to www.noraroseyusko.com.)
All things work together for good to them that love God.