One of the beautiful treasures that has come about through this sad time is the reinforcement of our marriage. I’ve always regarded our marriage as one of great strength, but this has bonded us closer together than I could have ever imagined. We truly enjoy each other’s company and draw such comfort from one another just by being near. A couple of days this past week I went with William down to work. I couldn’t face the awkwardness of going inside, but instead stayed out in the car. I kept occupied with my phone and my new iPad. It was so nice to know that William was only a few feet away if I needed him, and I was only a few feet away if he needed me.
During one of our trips in the car the song “I’m With You” by Amy Grant and Nichole Nordeman came on. We’d heard the song several times before, but never really personally related to it. I think it is written from the perspective of Ruth and Naomi. However, this time it came on, we started listening to the words and realized just how perfect it was for us right now.
Love is a hurricane in a blue sky
I didn’t see it coming, never knew why
All the laughter and the dreams
All the memories in between
Washed away in a steady stream.
Love is a hunger
A famine in your soul
I thought I planted beauty
But it would never grow.
Now I’m on my hands and knees
Trying to gather up my dreams
Trying to hold on to anything.
We could shake our fist in times like this
When we don’t understand or we could just hold hands
You and me Me and you
Where you go I’ll go too
I’m with you, I’m with you,
‘Till your heart finds a home
I won’t let you feel alone,
I’m with you, I’m with you, with you.
You do your best to build a higher wall
To keep love safe from any wrecking ball
When the dust has cleared we will
See the house that Love rebuilds
Guarding beauty that lives here still
Who can say I’m left with nothing?
When I have all of you, all of you
In the way you’ve always loved me.
I remember, He does too.
As we were listening to this song and paying attention to the words, we “coincidentally” reached for each others’ hand right at the part “We could shake our fist in times like this When we don’t understand or we could just hold hands“. We just smiled at each other like, “Oh hey! That was neat!”
I’m so thankful and relieved that I have this sweet precious man in my life to go through this with. While I had the love and support of my family and friends to help me through Sophie’s adoption 19 years ago, I did not have the love and support of a spouse. What a blessing he is. I love you, Pudding. We’re going to make it through this — you and me, me and you.