Moon Bath

The thrust of warm water hisses through the pipes. My chilled skin welcomes the initial sting as its warmth surrounds me. I lean back on the bath pillow, clasping my broken heart, pretending for just a moment that you’re still here. I Imagine that someone is about to bring me your fat naked little body. That at any moment you’ll be immersed with me, an excited smile on your face. Weightless, warm, cherished and loved, I’d stroke water through your fuzzy hair, kiss your cheeks, squeeze your naked baby bum and sing to you how much I love you. The water continues to splash out from the faucet, coalescing with my tears. Only your faded mermaid sticker smiles back at me. Your bath towel and the precious imprint of where your sweet head used to lie. No kicky, squealing baby to place on it, covered in 1,070 days’ worth of dust. The moon and Jupiter peek in through a gap in the curtain — reflecting the sun’s light over great expanse to this little spot in the world where I used to hold you and love you. The bath is lonely and sad without you, but just like the sun, no time and no distance can diminish the intensity of my love for you. 

4 thoughts on “Moon Bath

  1. Hugs for you!! Even though I only know your family through your blog, I will always remember the love you have for your precious girl (and other kids of course).

  2. Your writing could not evoke more pure emotion. I miss seeing pictures of your precious angel and hearing about her daily activities that drew us all to love her. Not only does your writing translate what goes through our minds and weighs on our hearts that we can’t put into words, but it also teaches us what pure, true, unselfish love looks like in this human world. I treasure your writings. Thank you.

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