In my previous post, I wasn’t admonishing myself for thinking about Nora and wondering what we might have dressed her up as this year for Halloween. There I was wondering what are we going to dress her as this year. I get frustrated with myself when my brain begins to think of her in the context that she’s still alive in the physical world. Those thoughts span only a couple of milliseconds, but dispense just enough time for the knife of reality to rise up and gain momentum on its way into my heart. It’s the same concept of reaching for the phone to call that special person who has recently passed away. That’s just what you’ve always done. Those neural pathways are rutted deep.
It’s so hard to believe that November is here and nearly over. This month that represents a time of thanksgiving is also National Adoption month. November 22, specifically is National Adoption Day. I suppose I can tie the two together into a beautiful bow and state that I am so very thankful for the option of adoption. Over the past 21 years – that one decision has been the source of countless friendships and bonds, not to mention the positive effect of it by those (myself included) who are directly affected.
Long, long ago in the land of 2005 there lived two women. One of them was me and the other was a young lady hundreds of miles away in Pennsylvania, named Shannon. Shannon was amidst the crisis of her own unplanned pregnancy and had stumbled across an old blog I had floating around on the interwebz. This other blog told my adoption story — the pain, the heartache, the beauty, and the love of it. In her quest for advice and direction, she reached out to me. We exchanged emails for few days before eventually talking on the phone. In addition to offering her my post-adoption birthmother’s perspective, we were also able to share in the joys, aches and pains of pregnancy with each other as I was also pregnant (with Greta). We became fast friends. That March, Shannon successfully made it through the adoption placement of her birth daughter and Greta made her debut into my world five months later. Over the next 9 years, my friendship with Shannon withstood the tests of time and distance. We kept in touch by email and shared our secret online blog journals with each other — the occasional phone call tossed in for good measure. Over all this time, we had never met in person! Shannon intrigued me not only with her wit and sarcastic sense of humor, but also with her tales of life as a female mechanic. She was the epitome of the tomboy I had always aspired to be, yet adorably girly at the same time. Truly, only Shannon could pull that off!
This past August I had the opportunity to FINALLY meet Shannon in person! She graciously did the 9 hour drive from Delaware to Kentucky — against all better judgement… Essentially “going to meet some AXE MURDERER she met on the internet,” as her son David warned!! 😂
Strangely, the moment we stood before each other in a hug, it was as if we’d always known each other, that we’d done this very thing a million times before. “Are you SURE we haven’t met in person before?” I wanted to ask her, knowing we hadn’t.
We had the best of time together, despite nearly running out of gas in the middle of an intersection and having to go back to the house at least three times any time we tried to go somewhere because I kept forgetting everything. I’m waiting for a sarcastic skid of ginkgo biloba to show up on my doorstep any minute now.
The weekend came and went all too quickly. I was only slightly surprised by the lump that formed in my throat as I packed up some goodies for her on her extensive journey back to DelaDelaWarewareware. Of course I was going to miss her!! Lots!! We’d been through so much together over the past 10 years. We finally met and now here we are being separated again. There’s no point of reference for this kind of thing!? I stood on the front porch and watched her drive away through a blur of tears. Tears of sadness, but also tears of gratitude. Your “stumbling” across my adoption blog all those years ago was no accident, Shannon. I’m so thankful for you and so thankful to God who connected our lives, simply because He loves us.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. (2 Corinthians 1:3-7 ESV)
Thank you for reminding me that our God is a God of mercy and grace and love. Prayers that He continues to give you a peaceful and comforted soul.
I love (2 Corinthians 1:3-7) – it is very comforting. You are an amazing person and ask God to me strong as you are. God is always with you to give you comfort! Have a blessed Thanksgiving!
I had been following your blog for months and was surprised one day to see Shannon’s name with a comment on one of fb posts. Huh? You see Shannon is one of my church buds, even though I am old enough to be her mother, and she reminds me of that regularly. I couldn’t wait to ask her how she knew of you and your family. Shannon told me the story, really amazing, but that’s God!!
I could not believe that this family I had been praying for was also part of my friends life. Now we could share prayer, Nor-Nor stories, events and concerns.
I am so glad you and Shannon got to meet; she did deliver a big hug from you too!
I continue to pray as you grieve for your precious girl; I will be praying you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Think of the feast Nora’s been enjoying at the Father’s table!
Love to you all,
Your sister in Jesus Deb L.
Nothing is EVER coincidental.
I love you more than words could express. I am so thankful that we were finally able to meet in person. I, too, shed my fair share of tears as I drove away. Suddenly, this virtual relationship, that had been sufficient for 10+ years, suddenly wasn’t sufficient anymore.
Your friendship has meant more to me over this last DECADE than I could ever even describe. I will treasure the time we got to spend together forever. I left part of my heart in Kentucky that day.
I love you, A.
I came across your web site through my family friend, Jesica Poland. From the first post about your pregnancy to seeing Nora Rose grow, your faith has been inspiring. You are a gifted writer and really funny! I lost my first pregnancy in an early miscarriage. Your words always remind me of our good & loving our God is, even during heart breaking times. Happy Holidays to you & your family!