Happy? Birthday

If someone would have told me that for my birthday I’d be in a limo with my sisters and family and there would be lots of friends in from out of town, I’d have thought, “Rock on!!!!” However, put that imagery into its actual context: in a limo with my sisters and friends… and my big kids… following a hearse to a cemetery… to bury my 2-year-old daughter… their baby sister… everything changes. That’s NOT how I ever hoped and wished to be spending my birthday.

No, we didn’t have to have the funeral service that day, but it just seemed to work best. It’s not like I’d have been out whooping it up somewhere else otherwise.

Was there some horrible glitch in the universe that snatched my baby girl from me just 4 days before my birthday? I mean, REALLY GOD??? Of all possible times? If ever there was an invitation to be angry and bitter with God, I’d have to say THIS was it. How do I keep my faith in the face of such extreme adversity? How do I carry on? How do I keep breathing?

Over and over and over again we see them–the little and sometimes HUGE reminders of God’s undying love, His tender presence ~

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This was no terrible cosmic accident. I cling to my faith, carry on and breathe in the intimate knowledge that God is a LOVING God. I know that God’s ways are not our ways. I can even be so bold as to surmise that this collision of birth and death is a gift.

I initially didn’t want to have my birthday acknowledged. What are people even supposed to say?! “Happy(?) birthday” seems silly. Maybe we should come up with a song for such occasions? “Sad Birthday to you…”

We met up with a couple of friends, my family and a few of the out of town family members from William’s side at a restaurant that evening. William’s sweet Aunt Jane even brought a beautiful birthday cake for me! I reluctantly agreed for “Happy Birthday” to be sung to me. After all, that was one of Nora’s favorite songs. She had listened to that song on her little music box hundreds of times a day. We had even brought the music box to the hospital for her.

Greta sat on my lap and tears streamed down my cheeks as they sang it. My friend Tonya snapped some pictures for me on her phone as the sweetness of icing and melting wax lingered in the air.

These are the photos in their raw and untouched form ~

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If you look closely you can see the angel orbs around our heads, around my face and between Greta and I.

As beliefnet.com explains them:

What are orbs? Chances are, you’ve probably seen them before–they are the curious translucent or solid circles (usually white) that appear unexpectedly in your photos. Orbs may appear in different sizes, as a single spot or as a multitude of spots grouped together.

Some people believe that orbs are more than dust particles or drops of moisture on the lens–they are proof of guardian angels, captured on camera. When these “spirit orbs” or “angel orbs” appear near a single person or a group of people in a photo, it’s a sign that they are blessed with the goodness, positive energy, and protection of angels. When orbs appear in a particular location, it’s also a sign that angels are hovering nearby and the location is particularly blessed.

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“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
(Isaiah 55:8, 9 NIV)

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. (Psalm 139:13-16 NIV)

14 thoughts on “Happy? Birthday

  1. Aleisa, before I scrolled to read any further, I saw the orbs in your pictures and broke down in tears. How magical that Nora was at your birthday celebration!! Thinking of you guys daily and missing Miss Nora’s smiles even more. 😢

  2. Aleisa, your beautiful birthday was celebrated here on earth by those who love you and in Heaven by Nora and her angels. God smiled knowing He had chosen you, William, Greta and Gavin to be with Nora here on earth. Now, she is with Him, doing His Heavenly work, and looking after her precious family!

  3. Noticed the orbs immediately. How great is our God? We love you and we’re always praying for you. Thank you for sharing the REAL. The REAL-ationship you have with our Creator, with your family…

    “Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’

    ‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.

    ‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’

    ‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’

    ‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

  4. The bird in the cloud says it all for me how special God gives us the touch when we need HIM so much, You have one very special family God has blessed you with. My mother and dad is not to far from where Nora is in Evergreen so I can sit and talk to special people that hold memories. My nephew is buried with my dad he was 8 when he became an angel. My brother leaves pennies on his stone every Sunday he would be 36 now. Love you and prayers for all

  5. Rarely a day goes by that I am not drawn to your blog. I found it first durning a bad time in my daughters life. I have drawn strength from yours an others words and faith here. I also noted the orbs immediately, to me they looked like hearts! How great that Noras job here on Earth was complete at the age of 2.I believe in my heart she was an angel with a great purpose in a world full of so many issues. I am so sorry that the debth of your pain must feel unbearable. I lost a dear friend to cancer, after she passed there was a family picture of her grandaughter being baptized. Right next to her husband in the picture (where she would of been standing) was a large orb! Gives me chills!!

  6. Your strength and grace as always are inspiring ! Is it just me? What about the heart by the right scounce on the wall?

  7. There is nothing left to say. I think the orbs from Nora in the pictures say it all. Lots of love and prayers. May next year’s birthday be full of miracles and wonderful surprises. ❤

  8. Amazing, this entry gives me chills. I can see Nora Rose surrounding you with love. Your faith is inspiring. Praying for your sweet family everyday, thank you so much for sharing this.

  9. My heart breaks with you. Non stop tears then I spoke to a few friends about you and how long I have followed Nora’s story and it inspired them, and I thought God is not a man so he doesn’t work like man. He used this beautiful baby to touch so many. And like the verse I’m named after “Gods promise shall not go void until it has accomplished what he has sent it” Nora has touched many lives which most at 70 can’t do and now she has returned to her heavenly fathers side where there is peace and absolutely NO pain. We love you and we are praying for your family.

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