It’s Nora’s Hundredth Day–a day we never even imagined. I’m happy and thankful for that, but I’m inclined to blame my dour mood on the miserable cocktail of hormones, gloomy weather and lack of sleep. Not to mention that Nora started the day off with another lengthy crying jag. It’s frustrating enough with a normal baby, but add to that “everything else that might be wrong” spinning through my mind. I hate to think of her in any pain, even if it is just gas pains.
If anyone can console this baby girl, it is her Nana. My Mom. My Mommy. My “Bobbity” (a nickname that evolved while trying to say “Mommy” with a stuffy nose… we think?) It was the same with me when I was just little. There was nothing and no one who could comfort me like my Mom. Her loving touches and her sweet soothing voice were magic. Nora, a part of me, would of course naturally find the same comfort from her.
And while my Mom takes care of Nora, I have my sweet Dad taking care of me like I’m still his little girl. He’s made me breakfasts, lunches and dinners and I love that he even cuts my meat up for me. He makes me feel safe and protected… blessed. I’m blessed that I don’t have any trouble regarding God as a Heavenly FATHER capable of keeping me safe and protected… and blessing me. I know what it’s like to be loved by a Father. My Dad. My Daddy. It makes me wonder why I was in such a hurry to grow up. I’d give anything to go back to those days.
Lucky kids
Nora spent her morning nap in her stroller on a 4 mile walk with her Muthr. I didn’t realize how far we’d gone until I mapped it out on my phone when we got back. I was in such a mood that I could have just kept walking and walking forever – trying to get to the end of time were it possible.
Real-life Pine-sol!
I walked to the end of Island 8 and back, across the Kissing Bridge over to Hill Island, and half way down Hill Island to the house we had previously rented for our vacations 4 years in a row. It is no longer being rented out and is currently on the market. Nora stayed asleep as I rattled the stroller down the gravel driveway. The house seemed unoccupied, so we continued on into the backyard. I stood there in the corner of the yard with a pang of sadness as I recalled so many memories. This house that had seemed like “ours” for so many years seemed suddenly cold and unwelcoming against its will. I grabbed a small pink rock and put it in my pocket before we rattled back up the driveway and back toward Island 8.
On our way back across the Kissing Bridge I stopped to gently kiss Nora’s sweet little forehead.
Nora got kisses from Daddy on their walk too!
Get. This. Off. Meeee!!!!
I got emotional today as I tortured myself with the fear of what next year’s Michigan trip would look like, if there was one. Would Nora be with us, I wondered? That’s where it started and gradually smoldered from there. I started feeling sorry for myself and angry at God as if though I were somehow the first and only person ever to be faced with potentially tragic circumstances. I already know the answer, yet still demand to know how God could have done this to us, and why couldn’t she just be “normal”? Things would be so much easier!!!
“I never said it would be easy, but it will be worth it. I’m with you,” echoed in my sad thoughts, “Stop worrying! I’ve got this!!”
Images of the crowd of people who had come to pray in my front yard. Countless trios of birds. Rainbows. Strangers who are now friends. Changed lives. My own reinforced relationship with God, my hubzbind, kids and family.
I KNOW… I KNOW… But it’s still so hard!!!!!! I DO trust that God is hard at work, doing something awesome, but at the same time, I’m human. I’m selfish, and I want things neat, tidy, and happy. With a sprinkling of happy moments throughout the days, the underlying uncertainty and sadness lurks. It’s warm and sunny toward the surface of the water, but on the days that I start to go under, I feel the cold and the muck at the bottom. It’s all I can do to keep my feet from getting stuck, drowning.
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I wasn’t able to post this at the end of the day yesterday night like I usually do. It wasn’t such a good night for Nora. She seems to be having more and more trouble eating. Each bottle guarantees at least an hour of crying, if she even takes the bottle at all. We decided it was best to head back home. I snuck into Gavin & Greta’s fort and kissed their sweet, warm cheeks, explaining that we had to go home with Nora. I managed to hold back the tears and played up the fact that they’d get to stay another day with Nana & Papa, even though it hurt so bad to say goodbye. The tears couldn’t be contained with the warm embrace of my Mom and Dad.
Thank you for everything, Mom & Dad. It was so nice to all be together this week. We did have a lot of fun despite some interludes of sadness on behalf of this baby girl. I’m sooooo glad we were able to make it up! To have Nora be a part of it this year meant the world! Sarah, Em & Josh, I’m sorry we didn’t get to say goodbye. Thanks, Dan for helping us load up the car. Take care of those big kids for us and have a safe trip back tomorrow. We love you allz!!
More pictures from yesterday, Nora’s 100 Day Birthday:
Gavin
And now we’re headed home.
“Whoever listens to me will live in safety
and be at ease, without fear of harm.”
(Proverbs 1:33 NIV)
iwillcarryyou 
Prayers daily go up for you and your family. Please know that we all, in this community that has come together surrounding you, rejoice with you, cry with you and continually lift you up to the Father above. He’s got this. 🙂
Happy 100 days to the entire Yusko family.
Prayers daily go up for you and your family. Please know that we all, in this community that has come together surrounding you, rejoice with you, cry with you and continually lift you up to the Father above. He\’s got this.
Happy 100 days to the entire Yusko family.
Happy 100th b day sweet Nora. You are truly a blessing from the heavens above. I believe that you guys have touched more people….at least I can say for my self….than you may ever know. You are always so inspiring Alesia. I wish I could have your strength when the world is not always what we want. you are so encouraging to others. prayers that Nora will feel better soon.
Will pray for a safe trip. Just for peace of mind it’s better staying next to a hospital when having babies / toddlers.
You have undergone a hormonal revolution after pregnancy; add to that all the stress; cloudy weather doesn’t help to boost the mood. You need to sleep more than any other thing in the world because nervous system recovers itself during sleep. If you have troublesleeping / feel anxious / sad frequently, please, go to see your family doctor. Your imagination is your worst enemy: fight that enemy focusing on the
present . Remember:
Matthew 6:34 (NIV)
34 ” Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own”.
Big kiss for the little muffin.
We are praying in Camarillo, CA.
Safe trip! I panicked when I didnt see the blog notice in my email! Seems the “panic” moments are always indicative of somethings “wrong”. Hopefully you will get back into a routine quickly. Love & hugs! HE’s got this!
Always thinking and praying for you all!
I will keep praying for your family! I love all of your pictures posted in this blog, but my favorite are the first and last! 🙂 I continue reading your blogs daily:)
Nora is beautiful. I wish you all the best.
You write so beautifully. I can’t imagine to put myself in your shoes but our family keeps yours in our prayers daily. Even though we have never met, you have opened our eyes to so much. As a Mother myself, I feel for you and today was one those days your writing brought me to tears. Sending prayers your way.
Happy hundredth day, little Nora. It is hard. I can imagine only part of how hard it must be, and that’s hard. I pray for you all every day, and will continue to do so. 🙂 Give that beautiful baby girl a hug from me please.
100 days…amazing! Be strong or not Aleisa. He never said it would be easy, not once, but He did promise to be with us. We are never alone, even though it feels like that. {{{Hugs}}} Four letters sun it up.. L O V E
I am glad you did have some time with the family in Michigan and so sorry that you were not able to stay the whole time. The last picture looks like little Nora has a secret smile and thinking – “I am ready to go back home mommy and daddy”. The place you were at was beautiful. When you first started writing about your long walk – the song about walking back home again came to my mind. So I think it was to be that you were to head back home and I pray that this bump in the road will not take away the beauty of the earth God gave you and all the good memories of time spent at Michigan with your family. Treasure these – it gave you the opportunity to share some of the responsibilities of Nora’s care with family members and you get some time for your own uplifting. God will definitely continue to walk with you as you return home to familiar places; and continuity to Nora’s home and care. You are a fantastic mother so don’t be hard on yourself as you are doing great. God brought the birds along for you and they will continue to be with you when you return. – Father, Son,and Holy Spirit all wrapped up together to lead you on your continued walk and the blessings you are giving others. My prayers continue to be with you.
I love reading your blogs! I laugh, smile and sometimes tear up! Happy one hundredth day, Nora!!
Happy 100th to you, sweet girl! Praying you’ve returned home safely. My heart aches for your worry and the unknown. But no one loves that Nora Rose more than God does!! Unload that heavy heart on Him and allow Him to carry you all every minute of the day. Prayers for you now. Prayers of strength, energy, patience and guarded hearts and minds. Thank you for sharing your heart. ❤
I have been reading your blog since Nora was born. I have been awed and inspired by your journey. I just had a piece of advice that may help regarding her crying with feeding. My son also had this problem, turned out to be GERD and Zantac with keeping him propped up after feeding helped tremendously!! It’s worth asking about. Love from WV and always prayers for Nora
Happy 100 days Bithday Sweet Baby Nora!!! Blessings & prayers with you!! Love from Murfreesboro, Tennessee!!
I could not wait to get home to my internet service to check for my Noradates! Stunning photos, but more a stunning display of unbreakable faith and the realization it is OK to have bouts of sadness, swirling hormones, uncertainty, and tears. You and your family are in my thoughts each day and prayers are sent up on your behalf. Much love to all of you.
I’ve been following your blog and checking on updates of sweet Nora…happy 100 days beautiful girl! My daughter, Livia, just turned 16 months old and also has full T18. So much of what you write I have been through and I so appreciate the way your able to put it into words. My prayers are with you, your family and your sweet miracle. xoxo Bethany
***.someone mentioned Zantac and my daughter was put on this (she is also bottle fed) and it helped her a ton with her feedings! prayers for those feeding time I know how stressful they are.
You and Nora are both strong and courageous. We learn a lot from you. God Bless
Praying for you in Madison, WI! Sending hugs your way. Nora is beautiful! Happy 100 day birthday little Nora! Wishing many more of those to come.
God bless and Happy 100 days Nora. Reading your blog from the beginning and I know where your strength comes from, God, but I don’t know if my attitude would be as great as yours, you do inspire me and others! I think of your family and Nora and say prayers that God will take care of Nora and wrap you all in his warm embrace……
You have every right to break down and get mad, you are human and you need to cry and vent. you have been so strong throughout this, and believe me you and your family are an inspiration to everyone, but you also have to remember to take some time for you and let someone else help you. you need time to rebuild your strength because all of this and the mental part of it is sucking it out of you. I pray and will continue praying for you, William, Gavin, and Gretta and of course the lovely sweet little angel Nora. I read your posts every evening and I feel as if I know you and I wish i was there to give you a big hug everyday.
I AM SO SORRY I HAVE NOT BEEN WRITING EACH DAY. I WENT TO VISIT MY BROTHER AND MY SISTER. I WAS GOING TO COME HOME THE SAME DAY, BUT DECIDED TO STAY AT MY SISTER’S HOUSE A FEW. I HATE TO HEAR THAT EVERYTHING CHANGED A LITTLE WHILE I WAS GONE. SO SORRY NORA IS HAVING A HARD TIME EATING, AND I KNOW THAT HAS TO BE HARD ON YOU AND WILLIAM. I WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING I COULD DO TO HELP. EVEN NOT EVER MEETING YOU AND YOUR COURAGEOUS FAMILY, I FEEL LIKE I HAVE KNOWN YOU FOR YEARS. JUST REMEMBER WHEN YOU SEE JUST ONE SET OF FOOTSTEPS, GOD IS CARRYING YOU. HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU, SO WHEN THINGS GET TOO ROUGH, TRY TO FIND A PLACE WHERE YOU AND GOD CAN BE ALONE. HE WILL GIVE YOU THE STRENGTH TO GET THROUGH EACH DAY. I LOVE THAT PICTURE OF THE WATER WITH NORA’S NAME IN THE SAND, JUST BEAUTIFUL. PLEASE REMEMBER MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU ALL. WELL I AM GOING TO THE NEXT BLOG SO I CAN CATCH UP ON EVERYTHING. GOD BLESS.
HERE I AM AGAIN, I FORGOT TO WISH SWEET LITTLE NORA ROSE A VERY HAPPY 100TH DAY BIRTHDAY. I LOVE YOU NORA.