Yesterday was exceedingly hard. But leave it to William to race in as my knight in shining armor. Fortunately he has the flexibility to leave work on account of the top notch employees he has. Even if he didn’t have the flexibility, I know he would have done it anyway. He not only came home from work to comfort me, but he scheduled a massage for me and insisted that I take the afternoon to myself.
It wasn’t until I was driving out of the neighborhood that I realized how good it felt to actually be out of the house without any demands or expectations other than to be to Massage Envy at 12:30. I had completely forgotten that there was ever a time in my life that this was just “no big deal”, life as normal!! It was such a GIFT in that moment.
On into my blissful massage… There were moments during the massage that were absolutely, downright painful. Working the kinks and knots out of my neck and back muscles proved to be no easy task. As I drilled my fingernails into the palms of my hands trying to evenly disperse the pain, I was reminded about how God is busy trying to remove some big kinks and knots from my life as well. These times, especially right now, are excruciating. Slowly the massage therapist painfully worked out the troubled spots, eventually smoothed out the muscle, stretched it and then let it fall back into place feeling amazing afterward in its newly conditioned state. There were times that I almost requested less pressure, but I wanted to prove to myself that by choosing to endure the discomfort it was going to feel all the better afterward. And sure enough. I had been so used to my muscles being in a tangled knotted mess that I didn’t even realize how uncomfortable they were until they were removed. GONE. Through Nora, and all of the challenges we are presently faced with, I recognize the areas of my life that God has been furiously kneading on. My larger muscles of patience, pride, trust, and also the smaller ones of kindness, peacefulness and self-control. As far as I was concerned, everything was just fine in my life. I didn’t need any kind of spiritual massage – I had everything worked out just fine!! Or did I? There are these moments, especially throughout this past week that have been horribly oppressive and painful. However, I know and trust that someday (hopefully soon, God???) I will feel completely refreshed and brand new. I will be graciously and mercifully rid of the “knots and kinks” that might have ultimately seized up and stopped functioning altogether.
After my massage I decided to actually take advantage of the fact that my husband had given me the afternoon to myself instead of rushing back home. My first stop was to the airport runway viewing area.
There are the days, such as yesterday that I certainly wouldn’t mind packing up and leaving for somewhere beautiful — but it’s actually enough to simply sit there and watch the big jets take off into the sky… Figuratively I will purchase boarding passes for my sorrows and troubles so I can sit there and watch them disappear into the clouds. There’s always been something strangely therapeutic about that parking lot. But, after sitting there for about 20 minutes or so without seeing any runway activity what so ever I wondered if perhaps the Greater Cincinnati / Northern Kentucky International Airport had become Hebron Neighborhood Air Depot. (?) Not much going on there anymore, it seems.
My next stop was to Skyline for a cheese coney and then to a park along the Ohio River to enjoy it. It could have been a Skyline commercial… {“When ever you’re feeling scared and tired, it’s Skyline time…”} …Or maybe not. With the heat index on into the triple digits, it was no wonder that I was completely and delightfully by myself. I found a relatively comfortable park bench that overlooked the river where I could sit in peace without anyone staring and wondering what my problem was and debating whether they should call the police. {stray thought: I imagine that if any authorities were to ask to see my ID I would promptly be accused of providing falsified identification. The cheerful, neatly dressed girl with careful attention to her makeup and very recent visit to the salon in my license picture does NOT match the frumpy, bedraggled specimen of fatigue that I have become. Isn’t it usually the other way around?}
So there I sat by myself (in all my frumpiness). “Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) The sound and sights of the birds (even a kingfisher and a couple of blue herons!), the gentle wash of waves along the shoreline, the sound of passing boats, even the hot breeze were so soothing and respiteful. It couldn’t have been more comforting than if I’d had my head in God’s lap while he stroked my hair away from my face and behind my ear, just like my Mom used to do when I was little.
Thank you for giving me that afternoon, William. You have no idea how good that felt.
Today we went for the first of many tests on Nora to determine if there are any other areas that we need to be concerned about. She had an ultrasound of her stomach and kidneys while she enjoyed a fresh order of milkies.
It was all no big deal until she was asked to lay on her belly. She would have rather not.
There were no awkward moments of silence, or furrowed brows, as in previous prenatal ultrasounds. The tech did say that everything looked good — but would she say otherwise? We will hear the definite results at our consultation next Thursday. So while everything seems to have gone well, we really don’t know for sure until then. (Deeeeeeeeeeeep breath!!!!!!!!!!)
And of course the 3 birds showed up again. This is a totally different location than where I saw them the first time during her swallow study at the main campus.
Can He say it any louder???? “I AM WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’VE GOT THIS!!!!! IT’S GOING TO BE OKAY!!!!!!!!!!”
Thank you, again for lifting us up in prayer. I hope we are all making quite a ruckus down here!!
But he said to me,”My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
(2 Corinthians 12:9)
iwillcarryyou 
Unbelievable the “3 birds” AGAIN! WOW! So glad you found some peace!
I love the way Nora lays with her arms behind her head.
On another note, I was thinking about the book Around the World in 80 Days, and how little Nora made it around the world so much faster. Happy 80th to Nora!
so glad you got some “me time.” as soon as my schedule slows down and i have some time when i’m not “waiting for a mother in labor to call me any day” happens, i will gladly take some nora time. ❤ stay strong mama, HE's got this, and so do you. xoxo.
So true we must trust GOD when we can’t trace HIM , He always up to something. HE’s got this. John 1:12 But as many receive HIM, to them He gave the right to become children of GOD, to those who belive in HIS name. Just stand on HIS word John 1:1-4. and no HE’S got this.
We are praying. Nora is a blessing to us all
oh how we so often forget to rest when we need it and how cool of God to “make you lie down in green pastures” through your sweet hubby.
I’m in tears….again…for you, for how exquisitely precious that sweet baby is, for how many people you are reaching and touching through sharing these journeys with us, and for how your words always seem to be exactly what I need to hear.
It is a very cool thing to be able to watch God Himself, the Creator of the universe, hold you in the palm of His mighty hands.
I was worried about you after reading your post yesterday. Please, take one afternoon off for you each week. When I was taking care of my sick Mom taking one day off was recommended to me to avoid Caregiver Burnout. You need to take care of your health because you have two other children to take care of. 🙂
Btw, the two kittens are sooo cute. I think they babysit sweet Nora. 🙂
Keep on praying for all of you.
That is one of my favorite escapes…to drive down where the park is. I love to go all the way own to the end. it is SO peaceful. VERY glad you had that time to yourself. William is SO awesome to have recognized what would help you! You are very challenged and very blessed at the same time. I pray that your hills and valleys become less pronounced and more smooth.
I imagine you clenching your fists, nails in palms, during your massage, as when we had our faces overhauled…back then you had just announced to me the news of the pregnancy…we were carefree and happy, laughing a lot, telling one another how pretty we would look once the Darth Mal face disappeared…no matter how frumpy and ragged you feel, know that you are the most beautiful person, inside and out, with a heart that knows endless boundaries with all that you have been handed. You trust completely and honestly in God, and it shows in all you do and say. Hold on to your faith, your family, your friends, the new people you have met and touched thru this, and most importantly yourself. NEVER EVER lose that beautiful you…the sense of humor everyone who knows you loves so much, the gentle heart that loves beyond words. I am grateful to call you friend, and even though I find myself wondering why I don’t pray more often, know that when I do, you are certainly at the top of my list! XO!
How nice to have some time to regroup. I am thinking of all the places you went and we must live close to each other. I live in Union. Thanks for sharing, I will continue to pray for Miss Nora.
Continued prayers for Nora and her dear, dear parents… that you both may experience that refreshing and comforting spirit of Christ every minute of every day. 🙂 That you would gain strength from these physical times of rest and hardship and offer Him your best each day. O, how He loves you!
Eph 1:18
I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand
Praying that the Spirit that lifted Christ from the dead will strengthen your weary body!
I’ve just recently come across your blog via Facebook and have been in awe of your patience and positivity. You are a special woman and all of your children are blessed to have you as a mom. Nora is a precious gift from God and a beautiful reminder of what is truly important in life.
ALEISA, I AM SO HAPPY YOU HAD SOME “ME TIME”. WE ALL NEED TIME TO OURSELVES ONCE IN AWHILE. WILLIAM IS SO UNDERSTANDING TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED AND WHEN YOU NEED IT. YOU AND WILLIAM HAVE SO MUCH ON YOUR PLATES RIGHT NOW, BUT REMEMBER GOD WILL NEVER PUT MORE ON US THAN WE CAN BEAR. I HAVE NEVER MET YOU PERSON TO PERSON, BUT THE WAY YOUR FRIEND DESCRIBED YOU IS HOW I HAD YOU PICTURED ALL ALONG. I HOPE SOME DAY I WILL BE ABLE TO MEET YOU AND LITTLE NORA ROSE. SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL IN THE PICTURE OF HER TODAY DRINKING HER MILKIES. HOPE AND PRAY THAT YOU HAVE A GOOD NIGHT’S REST AND A WONDERFUL DAY TOMORROW. SO GLAD YOU DID NOT GET BAD NEWS. GOD KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING. THE DOCTORS ARE WORKING THROUGH HIM, AND HE IS TAKING CARE OF EVERYTHING. I LOVE YOU GUYS. GOOD NIGHT AND GOD BLESS.
Aleisa- I’m wondering what the significance of the three birds is to you? A dear friends of mine had triplets, but baby Lydia had severe health complications and at two years old, she went to be with her Jesus. My friend’s blog (johnstontrio@wordpress.com) was named Three Birds. I like to think that little Lydia has befriended your sweet Nora.. and is appearing now and then to comfort her and you. Crazy and corny? Maybe. But the fact that I’m not a blogger and was drawn to follow you- while having my only other blog-friend have the three birds I find too strange to be just a coincidence. Praying for you all, hope you have a fantastic 81st day!
“I long for God’s personal responses to me. I anxiously await…and they come. Gentle, strong, faithful, true, full of mercy and grace is my God to me. I am humbled when he whispers to my anxious heart, ‘I see you. I see your need. I love you. I am bigger than your need…”
I love your faithful, honest testimony that echos this sentiment. I’ve followed for weeks, and prayed, and continue to pray! I love watching God respond to you!
How blessed you are to have the family that you do, who surround you with love, care, and patience. God gave Nora Rose to you as a special gift, whose benefits are still unfolding in your life. She will teach you much, and God will speak to you through her little moments of joy and strife combined. William sounds like a true Godsend. I pray that your family remains strong in love and faith.