The past four months have flown by in a frenzy of emotions. We went from the ignorant, blissful assumption that everything was completely normal with this pregnancy, “Why wouldn’t it be??” progressively downward into a panicked quest for answers. That path led to a steep and sudden drop off. “Your baby is showing a third chromosome for trisomy 18.” I took a running start, ready to jump off the edge into the abyss below, but instead found myself balancing precariously on a slippery tightrope. “Stay focused. Don’t look down. Don’t look up. Don’t look behind you. Keep your eyes directly in front of you, focused on the foreground. Go. You can do it. Go.” One foot placed faithfully in front of the other, I’m slowly making my way across to a new and foreign existence. I can see nothing but a few short feet of rope in front of me. The rope fades off into a mysterious nebula before disappearing altogether. There are moments where I feel like I’m about to lose my balance, waving my arms, frantically trying to regain it. I feel the heat from the flames below threatening to engulf me. Ever so surely a gentle presence grabs a hold of me and steadies me on my feet again. I heave a sigh of relief and my racing heart relaxes back into a comfortable employment.
“Go. You can do it,” the voice whispers, “I’m right behind you. I’m right in front of you. I am above you, I am below you. I will not let you fall.”
With ardent reassurance I continue placing one foot in front of the other.
“He will not let your foot slip he who watches over you will not slumber.” (Psalm 121:3)
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)
I feel a miracle on its way….
Gosh you just more eloquently described the last 5 years of my life better than I ever could. His ever steady and strong strong hands are amazing indeed.