Beautiful

Throughout my life I’ve heard about, witnessed and endured a fair share of tragedies. All I have to do is turn on the evening news for a half an hour and I hear the stories of all the people who were killed, murdered, abused, and wronged throughout the past week, tied in with some sports and weather. Entire programs are focused on incidents of evil and hatred either real or fictional — Unsolved Mysteries, America’s Most Wanted, Criminal Minds, CSI.

I only hear about the incidents themselves — nothing past them. They sadden me and at times make me angry, cynical or fearful. Rarely is it ever reported about how God stepped in and salvaged the wreckage and created beauty from dust aka abject misery. Based on the way that that information is fed, it’s easy for me to get caught into the trap of believing “that’s all it is” for those people–shattered, ruined lives. Sadly enough, maybe it is. Maybe they don’t believe there could be anything else. If I don’t believe it and I’m not looking for it, chances are, it won’t be there. Instead, I have faith that God does not and will not leave me in a heap during those moments of despair even though that’s how it might appear at first. He’s right there with His arms outstretched waiting for me to reach for Him. He loves me! AND YOU!

If I feel that nothing good has come forth from any given failure, affliction, or cataclysmic loss that I’ve endured, either I’m not looking hard enough or I’m being impatient, expecting God to operate on my watch. The beauty WILL come sometimes immediately other times in years to come. I have absolute faith, hope and trust in that! I will never forget something my Dad said to me many years ago as we were driving away from the gazebo where I had just parted with my birth daughter. Through my blur of tears and the boulder in my throat, I managed to smile when he reminded me,”This isn’t the end of the story, Lis! It’s just the beginning!” You were so right, Dad! Just the beginning, indeed!!

Sometimes in my darker moments while in conversation/prayer with God I’ll catch myself trying to explain my love for Nora pleading for more time with her, “I love this baby soooo much, God… You couldn’t even believe how much!!” And as soon as that phrase, or the like, is uttered I can imagine God laughing with raised eyebrows, “Seriously, Aleisa?” That’s pretty much like telling Thomas Edison that he doesn’t know how the light bulb works (if he were still living…). OF COURSE God can believe and understand how much I love Nora!! He is the inventor and author of love! Our capacity to love is only a fraction of the real deal.

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I think of the love I have for my big kids (because that’s really the only way I can try to comprehend God’s love for us, His children). I love my kids, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to spoil them and give them what ever they want, follow them around picking up every little mess they might make, essentially a slave to them. I have a greater image in mind. I know that they’re going to grow up someday. They need to learn how to become productive members of society. They need to learn several life lessons and basic survival skills. Those lessons aren’t always easy. There will be moments of pain and suffering, as they would perceive it – but that’s what will mold them into who they will become. I’d like to have my kids happy and content all the time, but I’d be doing them a terrible injustice if I gave them what ever they wanted when ever they wanted it (think Veruca Salt). In the way that I believe I know what is best for my kids, I will TRUST that God knows what is best for me. He might assign some very difficult tasks, but it will mold me into someone much better than I am today. After my tears are all wiped away and I’m finished pouting, maybe God will “take me out for ice cream” later.

Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the Lord.
(Psalm 31:24 NIV)

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Nora seems to be doing well with the Zantac! Just a lazy day here at home!

15 thoughts on “Beautiful

  1. HI GUYS!! LOVE THE PICTURE OF NORA WITH THE SHAMPOOED HAIR. SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE LIKES HER BATHS SO MUCH. SHE IS REALLY SUCH A BEAUTIFUL BABY. I AM GLAD THE ZANTAC IS WORKING FOR YOU NORA. NO MORE OF THAT OLD REFLUX THAT MAKES YOU FEEL BAD. PRAISE GOD IT IS WORKING. I LIKE THE LAZY DAYS. JUST RELAX AT HOME AND DON’T DO TOO MUCH OF ANYTHING, MY FAVORITE THING TO DO. ALEISA I ENJOYED YOUR BLOG TODAY (EVERY DAY). YOU ARE SO RIGHT, WE DO HAVE TO PUT ALL OUR FAITH IN GOD AND HE WILL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING. SOMETIMES I TOO FIND IT HARD TO DO, BUT THAT IS WHEN I PRAY EVEN HARDER, AND THAT IS WHEN GOD SAYS GIVE IT ALL TO ME AND I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU. I PRAY GOD GIVES YOU AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY THE STRENGTH TO FACE EACH DAY, AND TO ALWAYS TRUST THAT HE KNOWS BEST. I KNOW THAT HE DOES KNOW BEST AND THAT WE DO HAVE TO PUT OUR FAITH AND TRUST IN HIM, BUT SOMETIMES I FEAR THAT I AM ASKING TOO MUCH. THEN I HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF THAT THERE IS NOTHING THAT GOD CANNOT TAKE CARE OF, AND HE WILL NEVER THINK WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH IS TOO MUCH. IF IT SEEMS LIKE I AM RAMBLING ON TODAY, IT IS BECAUSE I HAVE TROUBLE PUTTING INTO WORDS WHAT I WANT TO SAY SOMETIMES. I HOPE ALL THIS MAKES SENSE. I LOVE YOU ALL AND PRAY EVERY DAY FOR ALL OF YOU GUYS. HOPE YOU ALL GET A REALLY GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP, AND HAVE A GREAT DAY TOMORROW. TIME FOR ME TO GET SOME SHUT EYE ALSO. GOOD NIGHT AND GOD BLESS.

  2. I absolutely love your blog and shared today’s on my FB page. My fourth daughter has Trisomy 21 and had a very hard medical start with 5 surgeries including open heart surgery. She was on a feeding tube and oxygen for the first 2 years of her life. Her Godmother has had two babies with Trisomy 18. One died when she was 21 weeks pregnant and the other at full term. I have two children with special needs and am very exhausted and sometimes down at the end of the day. I look forward to reading your daily entry as you always lift me up and shift my perspective for the better with your words of wisdom and biblical references. Thank you for sharing your journey! I feel so much love for your sweet baby girl when I look at her pictures! I will keep her and your family in my nightly prayers.

  3. Amen!! well said. I look forward to reading every day. Enjoy your lazy days…sometimes the make the best days. Praying for Nora and for you as well….hoping God will comfort your worries. Have a blessed day

  4. So beautiful and true. It’s comforting knowing how much God loves is. God works out of love and sometimes he loves us by making us wait or nit giving us what we want. It’s not always what we’d chose but he knows best. I love this entry today. Thanks.

  5. When my older girls were little I would sing. “I want the world, I want the whole world. I want to lock it all up in my pocket, It’s my bar of chocolate. Give it to me now! I want today, I want tomorrow… When they would ask for things over and over again even if I said no…

  6. Yay for the Zantac. Can’t be letting the little one learn hard lessons in reflux. Great blog entry, all SO true and hard for us to keep in our minds. I know we’ve talked before about the media playing it out every day like all this world is is violence, hate and murder. I think sometimes they try to throw in a positive story here or there, but the bad stories are certainly highlighted more. I can hardly even watch the evening news anymore, it makes me sick. I think they need to do a story on Miss Nora Rose, and ALL OF YOU PEOPLE who have given of yourselves to surround the Yuskos with LOVE; prayers, meals, all-nighters with Nora, words of encouragement, watching the big kids, and the list is endless. THAT’S what I choose to see in this world, the kind and loving people who greatly outweigh the evil in this world. Chalk a few up for team GOD, because of all you wonderful people.

    And I LOVE that song by Cloverton! I remember the first time I heard it, so beautiful!

    I can’t WAIT to go for ice cream with God someday too! That is the BEST!

  7. Thank you for the reality check…….as a parent, as an adoptive parent, as a foster parent, as a woman. My boys (my second generation adopted boys) love reading about Nora and your family, the good and bad news.

  8. Thank you for sharing such truth and your honesty! I was greatly encouraged and your post reminded me of this passage from Job 42:1-5

    Then Job replied to the Lord:
    “I know that you can do all things;
        no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
    You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’
        Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
        things too wonderful for me to know.
    “You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak;
        I will question you,
        and you shall answer me.’
    My ears had heard of you
        but now my eyes have seen you.

  9. Don’t feel bad for how you feel about the news. I was given advice years ago from the very wise, when I was also going through a medical crisis with a child of mine. Direction was – the news is not helpful – Do not watch it!!! I no longer worry about the same things that others worry about. And I am ok with that. I am grateful for all that I have learned. Extremely painfult but my life is defined by before and after….and as hard as the after is, I am ok with it, and know that it was meant to be. That’s what God chose for me. During the chaos, I onced asked him (while I was pregnant with my son) to send me one that needs something extra. And he was maybe eager to accept my offer, however, I could have never known the pain. (So now I laugh and kid with God about that.) But I know now that he and I were totally connected. And when things were beyond believably hard, I sat in a chair, after following a manic child for 4 days and nights without sleep and begged the holy spiriit to help me, because I was losing my mind too, and had to be strong to help him. And I am grateful….for everything. I see that in you know that too. I love you. You are special.

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