It’s been a rough day for us which is evidenced by the fact that we’re still here in the hospital. We did have a nice afternoon with a sweet visit from Sophie. I can’t begin to explain what a neat thing it is to see these two precious lives right before my very eyes. These two lives, that by the very grace of God I said YES to, despite their possible “inconveniences” of being “unplanned” or “imperfect”. These two individuals were both very planned and very perfect!!
A few hours later the cardiac team came to discuss Nora’s echo and EKG results. Basically, she has small ASDs and a medium sized VSD, neither of which would be causing her blue spells, nor do they require any immediate intervention if we were to decide to take that route. Our plan was to head home this evening with oxygen to have on hand should another episode arise. However, when we removed the oxygen it became quickly apparent that her little body couldn’t tolerate being without it. This came as quite a blow for me. She’d been doing so well, but turns out we’ve just traded one tube for another. I wondered out loud if we are simply just prolonging the inevitable for our own selfish reasons. I felt myself dangling from the thin wire I’ve precariously been balancing on for so long. In Jesus’s own words I internally screamed,” MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?” Just as I was about to “let go” the door to our room slowly opened and in walked a woman. I sensed immediately that she was overcome with emotion, but also wore a glowing smile. She proceeded to tell us how she has been following our blog for several weeks now and just had to come in and meet us. As she embraced me, my tears continued to flow, but for a very different reason. She reminded me of my great faith, how God has NOT let us down thus far, and of the multitude of lives this tiny, feeble little baby is touching. She had just resuscitated my faith in that moment and I began to breathe again.
I truly believe that God sent Linda to me right at that exact moment to give me that big hug and that clear as day message that He has NOT forsaken me. He is very much present and is busy at work here. It was too perfectly timed to be regarded as any kind of coincidence.
Here’s a sweet picture from this evening:
We are still here in the hospital because it was too late in the day to get all of the supplies we need to go home with (oxygen tanks, etc.) – Not necessarily for health reasons. I’ll take that, as it could be worse!
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV)